The Cracked Mask
by autumn-leaf16
Summary: A story about Watanabe Osamu, a bit on the dark side. An attempt of talking about some aspect of his past. Story take place after 'Sacrifice', and will include a new OC, guest appearances from Shitenhouji's tennis team and Ashita.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:**_ _**First things first- I just suddenly had this idea and even though I am not sure how accurate this can be, I want to write this. I think the main idea might be a bit too dark/bitter but I don't think it is that impossible.**_

_**This story links to what happened in "Who is it for?", which is the second story in "Chapters". As I said before, I find Watanabe Osamu a very interesting character and one of the things I am really curious about him is how come he is coaching Shitenhouji when he is still so young. I mean, now that I think about it, there probably is quite a lot of normal reason why you might coach instead of doing the sport yourself, but somehow I have my mind fixed on this idea.**_

_**As you can probably guess by the title, this story is an attempt of trying to say that he is actually very different from the person we see in the original story, that it is only a farce to an attempt. I suppose one reason I can get away with this is because there is even less information about him then Shiraishi. But so, as I said, this story have some tragic elements so if you don't like that kind of stuff, don't read.**_

_**The story is linked to "Sacrifice", although it is set after it, so by this time the third years has all graduated from junior high and is now in senior high- for the ones who wanted to. Ashita does come out although it will be even more of a guest appearance.**_

* * *

"_I want to be buried under a sakura near you, Osamu. Do you know that the most beautiful sakura are always burial grounds of women in love? That is because we bloom for our lover, wanting to be beautiful for their sake. Because I love you so much, my sakura will bear the most beautiful flowers."_

That was her wish, and he vowed to grant it the moment she told him about it, as he did with all her other desires. That was why he spent a long time arguing with her kin about letting her be buried in Osaka, even though her immediate kindred were all in Kanagawa. He also had to spend a very large amount of money in order to let her have a resting place that was directly underneath the tree which she so loved- the plant she was named after.

But he was unable to fulfil all aspect of her wish. There was no way that the park coordinator closest to his home would agree with the request of burying her in the middle of the public space.

Just how much power did a fiancé have anyway? He asked himself as he stared at her for the final time, it was so strange that she had not aged at all. The person who lied in her final bed was not a woman in her mid twenties, but the young girl who recently turned eighteen.

She was wearing that white dress which she had loved so much, and he could almost smile as he recollected what she had said when she brought it, after she laughed so hard at seeing him in a proper suit for the first time.

"_But this is what I want! You in a suit while I will wear this white gown that a princess will wear as she prepares to live happily ever after."_

Sakurako was that kind of girl, very different from her sister. She was like an angel, and maybe that was why, to an extent, he was almost acceptant about all that has happened. Sometimes he believed that she was never meant to remain in this world for a long time, as she could never survive in the battle against her greatest rival: reality.

But it was still so unfair! She was so young and about to start a new dream. She shouldn't have been snatched away so soon.

The coffin was closed, and she was lowered into the grave just below the sakura. He closed his eyes to allow his tears to fall without blurring his vision- she was truly gone from him now, he could never touch her again.

"You are feeling guilty, aren't you?" the voice of Hanamura Aoi, her elder sister said chillingly, her voice much colder then it had even been now that Sakurako was finally gone. "You should be, since you are the one that caused this."

"Aoi!" their mother said sharply, at least he believed that she was the two's mother since he had not seen her for many years. "We've talked about this many times and…"

"I am sorry, Osamu-kun." Their father apologised. "But it is just that Sakurako's death is very hard for us to accept, even thought it has been eight years…"

"Eight years since that bastard caused all this!" Aoi repeated again, screaming between her tears, obviously in hysteria as she had loved her sister greatly.

Her words were accompanied by actions this time- she began to slap him, shaking off her parent's grasp. She continued to hit him despite the muttering of the others who had gathered for the funeral. "You killed her!"

Watanabe just let her keep on hitting him, as he did believe that he was the cause of Sakurako ending up in that state. Wasn't it him who wanted to go out that night?

As to be expected of a skilled tennis player, her slaps were actually very hard, and despite the numerous times that she struck him, his face was still being stung each time.

That was why he immediately noticed when she stopped.

He tilted his head to see what caused this-for once it was not under that hat which he always wore- the bucket hat that she had put on his head as he prepared to board his flight to England.

"Hanamura-senapi, please stop this." A woman stated in a voice that was soft, but hard, "You are causing quite a scene in your own sister's funeral."

The woman had grabbed his attacker by the wrist and due to the careful positioning of her nails, she managed to force the other to halt. Aoi even winced when the younger woman tightened her grip.

He didn't know who she was, but then he had not seen any of these people for ten years at the very least, while others he had not seen since his graduation from Shitenhouji chuugakkuu.

"Hanamura-senpai, please stop hitting Watanabe-buchou." She repeated again.

At this address, Watanabe frowned, as this indicated that she was someone in the tennis club, and might have been in the team of Shitenhouji chuu. When he was a student there, the tennis club had been combined, so the buchou of the boys and girls team were also the buchou of the whole club.

"Aoi, we have to talk to your aunt." Their mother said as she and her husband half dragged their remaining daughter away, giving them both an apologetic nod.

"Are you alright, buchou?" she asked him politely, although her tone was not exactly warm, let along friendly.

He nodded before he asked her: "Who are you? Since you call me buchou, you must be in the tennis club of Shitenhouji chuu all these years ago."

"I was." She said with a nod. "I was also in her class."

"Sakurako's class?"

"But I didn't really know her, even though we were in the same class." She added rather quickly, interrupting any questions that he might have asked. "Just like how you have no idea who I am even if you were my buchou."

"Will you not introduce yourself then?" he pressed on. "You did help me and…"

She gave a slight shrug, either saying that the help was nothing, or indicating that she would have done it for anyone else.

Nonetheless she did say who she was.

"Tanako, Tanako Aizuki."

"Tanako?" he repeated the last name as he recollected another female who had that name. "A second Tanako."

"It is true that my last name is pretty popular, but it is not a coincidence that I have the same name as Tanako Ashita, the girlfriend of Shiraishi Kuranosuke, the buchou of Shitenhouji Chuu's tennis club for the last two years," she said with a slight smile, "That Tanako is my precious little sister."

Watanabe suddenly remembered a scene from about thirteen years ago, when a bunch of girls had been causing a severe disruption in practice due to trying to cuddle a little child.

"She's so cute!!!" almost all the girls were saying as they crowded around the little girl that was only three years old, making her clung onto her sister even tighter.

"My parents have to go to the hospital so they entrusted Akio and I to look after Ashita." Her elder sister explained, and many were shocked at how loving she was with the child, considering her reputation and attitude in school, as well as her own relationship with her twin brother. "Ashita is my precious little sister."

"Tanako Aizuki," Watanabe said her name softly. "I think I can remember you."

"I rather you don't." Tanako Aizuki said dryly as she moved to let the next person approach.

Her words was strange but he did not spend any time to ponder on them as he was hit by a wave of grief and tears once more when some of Sakurako's classmates and friends began to talk to him.

"_Everyone says I am so lucky to have the great Watanabe Osamu from the tennis club as my boy friend!"_

"_Do you agree with them?"_

"_Of course, I love you the moment I saw you, but not because you are the buchou of the tennis club or anything like that. It is for the simple reason that you are you."_

She spun so many dreams…but they were all snatched away from her just as she was going to start to weave them into reality.

* * *

He found himself ending up in the nearby bar after the funeral. He was the last one to leave as he spent a long time kneeling beside her grave. Maybe he was asking forgiveness for all that he did, as well as all that failed to do.

She had wanted her last bed to be the earth with sakura petals as her blanket, not a coffin. He was unable to give that to her.

"Like a princess in a fairytale." He admitted softly with a slight smile. "But then that is who you are."

Whether he go home or not did not matter because there was no one else in that empty building, and he was now faced with the bitter realization that his future would always be like that, since she was finally taken away from him.

He had a family, but they were too distant in either the physical or mental sense, if not both. Most of them could not forgive him for throwing away the opportunity of continuing a very prestigious career, especially after all that they did to grant him that, while he was still bitter at the fact that none of them tried to understand him.

How could he make them understand that Sakurako had become so important to him so that everything he once took pleasure in disappeared because she was no longer there? That was what drove him to teaching, as he discovered that he could at least be happy when his students were.

The ability of laughing was something that he could only do when he was with his students. With them he would behave to the extreme as that was the only times he could do so. The real Watanabe Osamu was actually very different from the perception the whole world had.

A figure sat down at the seat next to him and since his head was bent down, he could only see the medium and lower part of the body and much to his surprise, it was actually a woman. As she was wearing an all black kimono he was sure that she had come from the same place as him.

Turning his head slightly, he could see what she was drinking - something that could almost compete with the drink in front of him in regard to strength, making her even more unusual.

The nails on her fingers were carefully trimmed with the faintest hint of nail polish on some of them to indicate that she must have experienced some rush in going to Sakurako's funeral.

Regardless of the latest fashion, or what anyone else suggested, Sakurako never once wore any nail polish, let along make up. Likewise, her hair was always natural.

"_It doesn't matter, does it?"_

"_Of course not! You don't need them at all!"_

She had been buried with her face free of any make up, and her hair only decorated by a garland of sakura. Her family had been quite shocked at this, but he simply reminded them that this was what she wanted.

He placed his glass down and turned to the person beside him, deciding that he could no longer stay in these memories. Was that going to be another aspect of his future? To be tormented with memories in every single thing?

"Tanako Aizuki." He said in some surprise.

"Don't worry, I'm not stalking you or anything." She told him with a smile, but her smile was so different from Sakurako's, it was double edged, as if she was laughing at the person she smiled at. "I happened to come here since this is the closest bar that a woman can come into without being seen as too strange."

Her phone chose to ring at this time and she immediately frowned at seeing the caller-id. Her lips curled into a hard sneer as she switched it off.

"It is likely to be from my asshole of an ex-boyfriend." She said upon his slight reaction. "We broke up today as he didn't believe me when I told him that I'm going to a funeral."

Now that he thought about it, Sakurako had gossiped about this with him. Tanako Aizuki had a reputation of being a bad girl due to the crowd she hung around with, her behaviour was also seen as much worse then it really was due to her twin brother- one of the model students in the school.

There had been a time when he found her sitting outside the club room after everyone else had gone. Since Sakurako was not waiting for him that day, he decided to have a talk with her.

Upon his approach she had shrugged and told him that she was having some problems with her boy friend.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked again, as the same words appeared.

"Because you happen to be here." She told him bluntly, taking another sip of her very strong drink. "Please don't flatter yourself into thinking that I am hitting on you."

"All I know from you is what I have heard in Junior high, and your reputation isn't assuring at all." He reminded her.

"I am actually pretty conservative," she said with that mocking smile again, "and that is usually the cause of any problems in my relationships. But just because I decide to be extreme in what I am prepared to do, as well as doing that since junior high… I am seen as being a slut. But you are the opposite, I'll talk to anyone I want even if I am attached…even if I am in love. You, on the other hand, regard addressing any woman your own age with the exception of Hanamura Aoi as an act of adultery."

How was it that she could actually decipher him so easily when she only saw him again after thirteen years? And it was not as if they had a friendship in the first place.

"Don't get me wrong, it is not as if I really dislike you, but I quite liked Sakurako when I went to school with her, although…"

"Although?"

"But nothing." Aizuki said firmly, he was definitely not able to learn the bitter truth from her yet. "You were my buchou so I sort of know you. I do still talk to some of my friends from my school days but I do not have that many. But the most important thing is this, I don't have much people to complain about the crap that is happening in my life. I want a listener, but not someone to lecture or sympathise with me."

"And you obviously think that I wish for the same thing?"

"I know you need the same thing." She said confidently, as she signals to the bar tender in order to place another order. "Why else would you be here? Why would a man be drinking all alone in the bar when his fiancée just died if he actually has a choice?"

He could only chuckle, and his students would be greatly surprised if they ever heard this laughter, because it was filled with great bitterness. There was no trace of the coach who always laughed easily at almost everything.

"This is true." He admitted, drinking the whole glass in one go. "So where should I start? About the car crash? About…"

"Just admit that you are actually really miserable will do," Aizuki interrupted him, her voice surprisingly gentle, "My sister mentions you sometime, while her boy friend talks about you a bit more since you were his coach. That is why I am able to fit everything together when I saw you at the funeral."

He had cried many times since the day the doctors told him that she might never wake up again, but this was different. He had forced himself to only weep when he was alone by focusing on his tennis- then on being merry with his students to prevent these tears from falling, This was his way of evading the truth, by refusing to cry in front of anyone else, as that meant he has really given up and lose all hope.

Tanako Aizuki did not touch him at all, although her fingers almost brushed across his as she handed him his glass. Later on, as he lied in his empty apartment, he would suddenly recall that water had replaced the original context.

She didn't say anything either, she just let him kept on crying.

And that was what he needed the most.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ _**As always, if you like it them please leave me a review. Also, if you would like me to write more then please tell me. I'll still put it up but I'll feel so much happier if I have a review. So that is that, Shiraishi and some of the members of the Shitenhouji tennis team will be making a guest appearance in the next chapter.**_

_**I don't know why but I can see Watanabe and Hanamura sort of knowing each other.**_

_**By the way if any one is interested, Ashita and Aizuki's last name, Tanako, is 棚子 in Kanji, while Ashita's name is 明日, while Aizuki's name is 愛月. I don't know whether their last name have any particular meaning but Ashita's name literally means tomorrow, while Aizuki's name means love and moon.**_

_**Please keep on reading!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:**_ _**I probably should spend more time on this but I decided to update it now.**_

* * *

The buchou after Shiraishi Kuranosuke was Zaizen Hikaru. Even though he was not as skilled at tennis as Kintarou, Shiraishi, Kenya and Watanabe all agreed that he would make a much better buchou- provided that he changes his attitude.

But it was not easy for Zaizen to be the buchou, because his predecessor has been buchou for two years. Like the other now third years in the club, he still really regards Shiraishi as the buchou.

He also has great difficulty in trying to govern Kintarou, who, ironically enough, was the fuku-buchou.

"It is your job to mould him into next year's buchou." Watanabe said simply. "I'll step in only when you really need help, that is what I did with Shiraishi."

Zaizen sighed as he stood in front of the club to start this day's meeting. Being a buchou was much harder then his original anticipation, even if he was not prepared to do all that Shiraishi did.

"First of all, Watanabe-sensei is back." Zaizen announced, referring to the mystery trip that Watanabe suddenly made.

The coach of Shitenhouji gave every one his typical lazy smile, what they expected of him. Since he was smiling so cheerfully, no one would ever guess the true nature of his absence. Wasn't that what Tanako Aizuki said? He kept on pretending that nothing was wrong.

What did happen that night? He had been drinking a lot, not something new, and he was sure that he was crying- that was a surprise. But he didn't wake up outside the bar, he opened his eye to discover that he was in his familiar empty apartment.

So she must have sent him home, although she left no clues behind.

A pity because he did wish to talk to her again.

"And secondly, I am very pleased to say that we will be having four visitors today." Zaizen stated before he turned to their coach. "They contacted me while you were absent."

"They?"

"Shiraishi-buchou, Kenya-fuku-buchou, Koharu-senpai and Hitouji-senpai." Zaisen said easily.

"Are they visiting us?" Kintarou immediately yelled out. His voice drowning out everyone elses'. "Is this really true, Zaizen?"

At this address Zaizen sighed once again before he clenched out: "It's 'Zaizen-senpai'!"

He knew that he should stop caring about this and be grateful that he wasn't simply called by his first name, but it still annoyed him every single time.

Watanabe smiled a true smile at this news. He was very glad at the opportunity of seeing these boys again. This was his forth year in being the coach in Shitenhouji and these boys had been his pupil for the first three years.

"Then we should start practising right now!" he announced, which was immediately picked up by Zaizen, grateful at this rare aid.

"Everyone, we will do what sensei just said!" Zaizen yelled out. "We will let Shiriashi-buchou and the other senpai-tachi see that our generation is as good as their's."

For many third and second years, the mere memory of their previous buchou was enough to make them practice. This was not really a surprise, since he appeared as the one who did almost everything in the tennis club.

Practise was only paused when the four senpai in question arrived. Even though the four of them wore an almost identical school uniform since both Shitenhouji's junior and senior high school used the common black gakuran, there was something that marked them as being senior high school students instead.

"Hello, everyone!" Shiraishi said in a very friendly voice, "Does anyone still remember us?"

"Yes, buchou!" all the second and third year immediately said, causing Shiraishi to smile and remind them kindly that: "Zaizen is the buchou now, you should all be calling him buchou, not me."

"I don't mind because I still call you buchou." Zaizen replied back easily.

"Nonetheless I am not the buchou anymore. Everyone, just call me Shiraishi-kun, or Shiraishi-san if you want to be more formal." The previous buchou of Shitenhouji insisted.

"_I like calling you buchou because it reminds me of the moment I first fell in love with you! Do you remember how you helped me to serve properly when everyone else was laughing at me? That was when I decided that I love you."_

"_What would be happening if I didn't help you that day?"_

He didn't even know whether he wanted to have an answer to that question. As she made him so happy, he was sure that his life would be very dull if she was not there, but yet he was deprived of any happiness now that he knew what it would have been like.

* * *

Watanabe was standing some distance away from Shiraishi and Zaizen, who were gossiping about what has happened to the third year regulars last year, he was far enough to not let them suspect that he was actually hearing every single word. He wanted to talk to Shiraishi, but knew that it was best to wait for a while. Even though his students could easily joke with him, he was still regarded as different due to being much older.

"Chitose has returned to Kyuushu, while Gin decided to only play tennis leisurely." Shiraishi was saying, "But Kenya is a regular in the tennis team in senior high and so are Koharu and Hitouji, although they don't play their joking tennis any more."

"What about you, buchou?"

"Me? I am not in the school tennis club, let along the team, but I belong in an individual tennis club that arrange matches for me. My own buchou is actually in that club and we play doubles sometime."

"Whenever the buchou in Senior High school sees Shiraishi he will practically get down on his knees to beg him to join!" Kenya stated as he sat down beside them. "He even offered the position of fuku-buchou to Shiraishi, as well as the promise of being buchou next year."

"Which is the worst thing that can happen to me!" Shiraishi pointed out.

Upon seeing that Hitouji and Koharu were ending their game, Watanabe decided that he could go and talk to them now.

"By the way, I am playing a game this Saturday. I'll be really happy if you guys come, and of course, that includes you too, Sensei." Shiraishi said at the appearance of their coach.

"Of course I'll come!" Watanabe declared out. "You are amongst the first group of students that I saw graduating after having endured you guys for three whole years!"

"Don't say that you weren't upset as we all remember the tears that almost fell down at the graduation!" the joking pair laughed out as they made their way to join their old team mates and the one who was once their coach.

"I know, I was so surprised because I never thought that I would ever see Sensei cry." Kenya agreed. "Because he just always seem to be smiling or laughing."

"Me too!" Shiraishi joined this conversation with another laugh. "Although he still didn't cry in the end."

Because I discovered that I couldn't take my mask off, Watanbe thought to himself, this façade that I put on in order to cope with Sakurako's death became too strong. If I cry that day then I would probably start to weep for Sakurako.

None of these boys realise that the man he had been during their graduation ceremony was probably more like the real Watanabe Osamu, the person without this mask of empty laughter.

"What about your previous Ashita?" Hitouji teased, cuffing his friend on the head.

"She will be there." Shiraishi said confidently.

Of course Tanako Ashita would be watching her boy friend, but would Tanako Aizuki be present a well? It was very possible that she would be there, since she would be interested in tennis.

Did that mean that he might see her again?

It is such a pity that Chitose and Gin are not here, Watanabe thought when one of the first years offered to take a photo of this reunion, because this picture is not complete without these two.

But this was reality, some things would disappear forever if they slipped out from your fingers, no matter what you might believe or say. The once firm bond between the eight boys in the tennis team last year was already beginning to be severed due to the departure of Gin and Chitose, and the prospect of college will do more damage to it.

He mourned for this even though he has been trying to tell himself that he should simply be grateful for being able to retain some memories. But he still found himself wishing that things might be different, as well as clinging onto hope and idealism. He almost wished that he could be like these boys, believing that everything would always turn out the way they wanted.

Or be like Sakurako.

"_I will never stop loving you, and I know that you will be the same too!"_

He wished that this could be true, that these memories will never be blown away by the wind that time command.

To an extent, he cared for Shiraishi the most out of all the boys he has taught so far, because Shiraishi was the student he has worked with the longest- being the only first year in the team when Watanabe became the coach. But this emotion would eventually fade into a slight affection that only appears whenever he happened to look at images of the past.

This was what happens in real life, and it would occur despite his denial. But he was a fool because he continued to hope otherwise, especially in the matters that Sakurako was involved in. Even if he accepted the fact that she would never wake up in this world, he still believed that his love for her was really different.

He vowed that he would live the rest of his life in mourning for her.

* * *

Shiraishi's tennis match was certainly interesting, and he was very glad to see that the boy was no longer playing his perfect tennis, but in a way that he truly enjoyed. Wanabe had a good talk with the over-all winner of the round, and the conversation did make him more at ease due to his actions in the past. But his sense of peace did not last long.

He ended up sitting in that bar again, after having visited Sakurako and placed some more flowers onto her grave with Tanako Aizuki beside him.

"Would she still want flowers from you? Would such things really matter to those who are no longer in our world?" she muttered bitterly when she placed her own bouquet down. "Would my parents actually be happy if I bring them flowers every single day?"

"Ta…Tanako?" he asked her a bit uneasily, his hand stretched to grip her shoulders, although he never picked up the courage to do that.

"I am just doing another round of complaint." Aizuki said with one of her shrugs. "Somehow I am reminded of my parents' death."

"Why don't we go and have a drink together?" Watanabe suggested, causing her to life an eye brow in surprise, as well as commenting out: "You are not a faithful husband if you are committing adultery after less then a month.

"A drink between two friends." He quickly corrected her. "You listened to me, so I will be willing to do the same for you."

"What is there to tell, really?" she asked him dryly as she shook the glass of drink he brought for her in order to make the liquid inside swirl. "Like millions of teenager girls I had a bad relationship with my parents, you might even be able to recall this from our days at Shitenhouji Chuu. Then my parents got killed in an accident, just as things were improving since I was much older by then."

"An accident?" Watanabe automatically asked curiously.

"Do you want me to tell you the exact details of my parents' death?" she asked almost angrily, which immediately made him mumble out an apology before he stopped speaking.

The other reason Aizuki didn't want him to know about her parents' death was that she did not wish him to feel even more guilty, since he already blamed himself for Sakurako's death.

"I was the one driving, the one that caused the car to crash." He had whispered when he was no longer conscious of anything.

"And why do you only remember her death?" she whispered out aloud in response as she prepared to leave his apartment, after laying him down onto his own bed. "What about these two innocent walkers who your car crashed into?"

She didn't blame him for her parents' death as she knew that his car only crashed into the pavement because he was trying to prevent it from hitting the two children crossing the road after the drunkard driver behind him collided into his car.

That was something he couldn't understand that yet.

She was not someone full of fancies, but when she discovered that they were actually linked due to that car accident eight years ago on Sakurako's funeral, she decided to help him.

"So I wonder what good I am doing by going to their grave when what I really need to do is to apologise to them." At this she suddenly burst out laughing, causing many others to stare at them. "That is what you really should be doing too!"

"We really are alike." he commented sadly.

Oh but you are worse then me, much worse, Aizuki thought to herself as she watched him preparing to forget by the help of alcohols again. Was this how he spent all his weekends? How could such a man be a teacher?

But she felt that he would have been quite a good teacher, almost like Akio, if this tragedy has not choose to make him the one scarred. Akio was different because he only needed to grieve and mourn, unlike Watanabe Osamu, who was chained to guilt.

But then, she reminded herself, he would be a professional tennis player if Sakurako was still alive.

"Please don't smoke." She told him, snatching his unlit cigarette from him, "I am not fond of that smell, and I don't want Ashita to smell that sickening scent on me."

"She seems pretty different from you," Watanabe commented, taking another swig of his glass since she took away his lighter as well. "I'll say that she is more like your twin brother."

"Ashita had the advantage of being born a whole decade later, when money was no longer so scarce, and I am very glad about that. My parents really loved each other, but their love was severely tested in their early days of marriage due to financial problems."

"Should you not be speaking with more respect?"

Aizuki simply scoffed at this: "They are my parents and I do love them. But that is not going to stop me from saying how stupid they are by having children before they even reached fifteen. Why are you so surprised?" she asked him dryly. "It is not as if they did any thing illegal."

The cosy home she now lived in used to be very different, and Ashita might not even believe her if she told her young sister about the condition they used to live under: their very affectionate and loving parents would constantly scream at each other on the rare occasions when they were both home at the same time. Sometimes the two who were not ready to be parents would even yell and scream at their two children.

It was not as if they never apologise immediately, but such a way of life caused her to be under constant stress, as well as being very resentful, even after she understood that her parents actually did quite a good job given their circumstance.

"So I tried to do all that I can to anger them," Aizuki finished, "Hanging around with the bad girls, as well as taking my pick of boy friends from those I should really stay away from."

The actions of her and her twin brother contrasted with one another so much that it really ended up in a cycle that worked against their whole family.

Watanabe just listened to her recollect the past without saying anything, doing the same thing she had done after Sakurako's funeral.

He only spoke again when he accepted her offer of dropping him.

"I should have guessed that you would have a motorbike despite your yukata." He said with a slight smile as he took his place behind her. "I don't believe that you would be the type to walk alone in the middle of the night."

"Much more convenient then a car or bike, and cheaper then calling taxis." She replied easily. "Although taking a drunkard home is not easy."

"For that I would always be grateful to you." It was a bit awkward for him to lock his hands around her waist, but he still had to do it. The last time he consciously hugged a woman…that would be just before he and Sakurako got on the car.

Will I ever be able to forget? He asked himself once more. Do I want to?

"But don't tell me that you actually walk home." Aizuki commented out, purposely distracting him as she could sense that he was thinking about Sakurako once more.

During the first few years of her parents' death she kept on recollecting the past, wondering what she should have done instead, but Watanabe was much worse then her. He seemed to be able to link every single thing to her.

"I certainly can't drive considering the amount that I drink." He replied back rather lightly, talking to her was almost like a distraction.

"And you had the nerve to lecture Shiraishi for practising too long after school." She said with a roll of her eyes.

"I guess you would naturally hear about that accident since it made your little sister into some sort of hero due to what she did."

"I just heard about the whole detail today as I managed to get Shiraishi to talk about you. He told me that you lecturing him is the proof that you really do care about them."

But half the time they just saw him as being someone really irresponsible, whose main teaching seemed to be encouraging them to have fun.

"I was really tempted to tell him that you were my buchou and used to be very different. I wouldn't say that you are like Shiraishi but you could be really serious, and you often get really worried about the upcoming competitions." Aizuki continued. "It's almost funny, people tend to be more serious when they grow older but you actually appear as the opposite."

Appears, that was the important word.

* * *

By the time they reached his apartment he was barely able to stand, Aizuki commented out that the surprising fact was that he managed to stay awake throughout the whole ride.

"How did you do this last time?" he asked as she pushed him into the elevator.

"What do you think?" she asked dryly, putting one of his arms over her shoulder. "I don't know why I don't just leave you to sleep outside the bar."

Due to how toxic he was, he ended up leaning onto her with his face toward her when the lift give a slight shake just before it was going to stop. To an observer, they seemed to be two couples who were about to kiss.

That was certainly what the person standing outside the lift thought.

"Ta…Tanako Aizuki…" this was actually clenched out, and his tone even made Watanabe turn around to look at that person.

"Who are you?"

It seemed to be someone roughly the same age as them, and Watanabe thought that he might have seen this person once or twice, he was probably a resident of this apartment as well.

But the person was addressing Aizuki, not him. That was why it was so strange.

"Hirasawa-san." Aizuki said in a rather strained voice. "Well, fancy seeing you here."

"Who is that guy?" was the cold reply. "Is this why you refused to go out with me?"

"He…well, you see, he…"

Whatever Aizuki wanted to say was interrupted by Watanabe, who leant forward and placed his lips directly over her's. Since the time she hit that guy in junior high school with her tennis racquet, no one has ever tried to rob a kiss from her. She certainly would never have thought that it would be from the man who was still in mourning after eight years.

This, she repeated to her self over and over again, was the reason she didn't' push him away immediately.

"As you can see," Watanabe said, forcing his voice to be as steady as it could, "This is who I am, so please take the next lift." He added cheerfully as he pressed the close button.

He believed that Aizuki didn't slap him because she was still shocked at being kissed by him, although he was certain that a slap would soon be given if he didn't explain quickly.

"I was trying to help you." He told her very sincerely. "Think of it this way, what would be worse? You going out with an idiot, or you being with some random man at this late a time in the night?"

"You are not exactly a total stranger." She reminded him. "But I guess this is the best situation. He's one of Akio's friends and that twin of mine tried to set me up with him."

"That obviously didn't work."

"Good boys shouldn't go out with bad girls." She said a bit sadly.

He should have released his hold on her when they reached his room, but he didn't. Instead, he actually tightened his arms around her neck.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, her voice was finally raised.

"Strangely, this doesn't feel bad." He told her softly, pulling her a bit closer, and he even slightly stroked her face. "I am surprised that you still are alone. You…you are actually very beautiful, Tanako Aizuki."

"That is because you are drunk." She said very softly, but she still did not push him away from her. Unlike him, she had no excuse for what she was doing.

She was realistic, men were different from women by needing to have sex, instead of just wanting, especially those who has never done such things before. Watanabe was extremely unusual as he was so devoted to Sakurako that he has never once been with any women, as well as waiting for her.

"_I only want to do that when we are married, can you give this to me? Other then you loving me forever, that is the only promise I want from you."_

"_Of course. Although it isn't that easy a thing, Sakurako."_

"_Why isn't it?"_

But now, for the first time, he was finding himself being tempted. As he drew her close to him, he realised that he really missed this feeling, of a woman being in his arms, even if she was not the one that he loved. Perhaps it was due to the mere physical proximity after having been alone for such a long time.

He knew it was unwise, and so did she. But he still bent down to kiss her on the lips again, while she actually remained immobile in his arms. She has been kissed many times before, yet this was different.

But he was only doing this because he was drunk, did not care for her in that fashion. If she did not protest then he would probably continue with his kiss, and perhaps this strange passion would even cause them to spend the night together, doing what lovers would

Aizuki shook her head firmly and pushed him back, wasn't that the one thing she would never do? As for him…he would never forgive himself if he slept with a woman that was not Sakurako, perhaps he might never wish to see her again, as she would be the painful reminder of his 'crime'.

Maybe it was already too late.

If she was lucky then he wouldn't remember what had happened. Closing his door, she sank down onto the corridor outside as she suddenly realised something.

She wanted to stay in there with him.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ **_This chapter was hard to write in the very beginning because the story was almost shifting from Watanabe to Shiraishi, to be honest, I am not that satisfied with the first half of the chapter as I still think that I have been focusing on Shiraishi and his team mates a bit too much, when this story is to focus on Watanabe. Although writing this chapter gave me inspiration for 'chapters', my collection of one shots about Shiraishi. In regard to what happens to the regular, I don't know why but I just want to make them like that._**

**_As for what happens in the end of the chapter…please don't condemn them. I am not going to talk much about what has happened because I want to explore that idea through the story. But anyway, please keep in mind that one of the themes I am trying to show is that love can be different and it is not just limited to one person._**

**_Aizuki's past is revealed a bit more and I think to an extent that make it more realistic, I guess you can say Ashita have the better deal. Sure, she was poor but she didn't mind that much. It was not as if she was starving or anything, and her siblings loved her. This is not really symbolic or anything, it is just the way her family happened to be. Although I guess unlike sacrifice this story is more realistic? Or I am trying to make it more realistic._**

**_By the way, and I think people probably already worked this out._** **_The italic is what he and Sakurako said to each other in the past._**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**_ _**Gosh I have been ignoring this story for ages, I only got about the first two pages of this done when I suddenly just lost any ideas- and couldn't even write the bit I have idea for. But then my muse suddenly returned…**_

_**So here it is, the next chapter. I actually wrote this other story about Watanabe but it's a Watanabe/Shiraishi pairing. I hope that some people are not going to quit reading this story (heck, not as if many people are reading this anyway) but I hope that people just won't stop reading this story just because I might have wrote 'BL' love stories. I've seen the opposite happening and I really don't like that, I've seen people who are really against OC story just because they think the prince of tennis guys should be with other characters. I can only say 'we are all writing stuff that is not happening.'**_

_**In general, I think I still like writing OC pairing much better, even though I do really like Watanabe and Shiraishi as a pair.**_

_**But anyway, here is the story…**_

* * *

Ashita could always tell when her sister was having some difficulty, as she would easily smell alcohol on her. Not a difficult discovery when they shared a room with their futon side by side. But she didn't know that she would only detect the alcohol when Aizuki drinking so much that she forgets to get rid of the smell.

"Neechan, what is wrong?" Ashita asked in great concern.

At the sight of her little sister being so worried, Aizuki smiled and patted her on the head lovingly. "Don't worry about me, Ashita. There is nothing serious."

"Are you sure?"

It was rather ironic that she rather confide to Ashita, who would not persecute the matter if she realized that Aizuki did not wish to talk about it yet, as opposed to Akio- who was always so insistent on knowing everything.

There was no clear record of the time due to the condition of their births, so there was no proof that Akio was older then her. So her twin brother was either convinced that he was older, or believes that due to being a man he had the duty to govern her.

"I just want to know one thing," Ashita said softly, "Is it something to do with niichan?"

"Why would you say that?" Aizuki laughed out aloud in order to conceal her nervousness, as neither she and Akio wanted to let Ashtia be involve in their really severe arguments, which often referred to allusions of the past.

"I just feel that Niichan want to discuss something with you." Ashita reasoned.

"Hmm…you know what Akio is like, he worries too much." Aizuki said and this was true enough. "Most likely he wishes for me to find a steady boy friend because he managed to find 'the one'."

"I do wonder about that too, neechan is very beautiful." Ashita said loyally. "And it is not just me, Kuranosuke's mother said that too."

When Ashita first told her that Shiraishi Kuranosuke has broken up with her, her instinct reaction was to do something to the boy that dared to make her precious little sister cry, and she had been very wary when her sister resumed their relationship.

But Aizuki has stopped being hostile to Shiraishi when she saw that his original liking and affection for Ashita was actually transferring to love.

As soon as Ashita went out to meet her boy friend, Akio came into the kitchen.

"Is what you want to say so serious and urgent that you will scream it out as soon as you see me?" she asked sarcastically.

It is easy to think that the twins loath each other, but this was not true. Aizuki was very sharp tongued to him because she resented his believe that he could interfere in her life, but she still listened to him as she did love him greatly.

Much as it annoyed her, she knew that this was his brother telling her that he loved her because he was actually trying to help her in his own way.

Likewise, Akio continued to lecture his twin because he was aware that her allowing him to do so was the sign that she loved him despite what she says. This was his way of showing her that he cared for her no matter what, as he was not giving up on her.

Another reason that they seemed to be arguing whenever they speak was due to the existence of a rather strong bond. They didn't need to say their agreements out aloud because they could sense it from the other.

"I was talking to Hirasawa the other day," Akio began. "He saw you entering an apartment with a guy in the middle of the night. Don't you think that such behaviour is…"

"It's not what you are thinking, Akio." Aizuki snapped. "I am not a loose woman, you should know that!"

"Nonetheless you were prepared to go to a man's rooms in the middle of the night."

"I was only helping him home because we were drinking together and he is an old friend!" she protested. "I was not going to… sleep with him!" She automatically paused slightly when she recollected what she almost did, making her appear rather guilty in Akio's eyes.

"I did not sleep with that guy!" she continued, her voice steadier. "I have not slept with any man! I told you before, I will only sleep with my husband."

"You certainly say that all the time, Aizuki, but I am not sure if I believe that any more. The way you behaved is almost like a woman who is prepared to sleep around…"

The sharp slap stunned Akio completely, because no matter how bad the argument between him and Aizuki get, it has never turned physical.

She didn't even say any thing, she simply left the house with a loud slam of the door.

This was new as well. For the first time in his life, Akio wonder whether he went a bit too far.

* * *

She was drinking, she just kept on drinking as the depression she was in prevented her from realising that there were other ways to solve her problem. Like many good elder sisters, she has said that the most important thing was self perception.

But to think that her own twin brother thought of her as behaving like a slut! Perhaps she was losing faith in herself as she almost wanted to do what she vowed to never do before her marriage when Watanabe had his arms around her in his bedroom.

This was not the first time her believe was mocked and doubted- few of her boy friends really believed her insistence. She often broke up with the kinder ones because they desired more then what she would ever give, while the others accused her of being faithless- denying them because she was entertaining another.

Yet this was the first time her own twin brother refused to accept what she said!

In her anger, she was prepared to smash her fist onto the table, but much to her surprise, it was prevented due to a firm grasp on her wrist. Due to reflex, her body continued to try and lower her arm despite the pain.

"You know that I am strong enough, Tanako." That familiar voice that she had not heard for a whole month commented out rather gently.

She did not know how long he had been there, even though he was sitting in the seat right next to her.

He held out a handkerchief, indicating that she should take it. Aizuki naturally stared at him in puzzlement without accepting the offer as she did not see why he thinks she would need such a thing.

Sighing, he leant forward to gently wipe her face before he placed the handkerchief into her hand.

It was wet.

This made her pressed her fingers on her face to confirm this. It turned out that she was actually crying quite badly…even now, her tears were continuing.

"What happened?" he asked when she gained enough self control to thank him.

He had been very glad to see the familiar sight of the woman in yukata at that spot after an absence of a whole month. But he had not even reached halfway when he heard her loud cries.

He actually sat beside her for quite some time before he realised that he had to announce his presence.

He was certainly deeply relieved at finally seeing her here again as he wanted to make amends for what he almost did, yet he was extremely nervous because he was not sure whether his actions that night were really the consequences of alcohol.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked bitterly.

"To let me help you as you helped me." He told her very softly, "Tanako Aizuki, how can you help someone when you need help yourself?"

"That why are you helping me?"

"So we can help each other," at this answer he had to smile. "It's funny, I have said this to many of my students but I never once expected myself to use this sentence in a context outside the class room."

"_I am happy as long as you are here beside me."_

Of course, real life was not that easy, but it was not that difficult either- just saying what you want would often make you feel so much better.

"Why do men always want to have sex?" her tone was like a little girl demanding her parents to tell her why a girl was not treated in the same way as a boy.

It was something that just was in this world.

"Because we love that person." It was not the smartest thing to say but it was his instant reaction. He loved Sakurako, so he was unable to be satisfied with just embracing and kissing her.

"Then surely you should be able to understand that they might not be ready for it." She protested back, "But so many of my boy friends think I am sleeping with someone else just because I refused to sleep with them.

At this she burst into another lot of loud cry, sobbing hard into his handkerchief.

He always saw her as being a mature woman who was fully aware with the way of the world, someone very different from Sakurako as she never asked for him to do something for her. Aizuki did not need any reassurance, in fact, she had been the one who offered to help him.

But all of a sudden she seemed so vulnerable, so he couldn't help but to reach out his hand to stroke her hair.

"Don't compare me with her." She said rather sharply as she pulled away, almost falling off her seat. "And don't…don't touch me the way you would touch her."

"Are you still angry about what happened a month ago?" he asked rather sadly. "I…I really didn't intend for things to happen that way."

"I can understand your actions." She muttered. "You are a man and I have long learnt that all men desire such a thing. But to think that you would have done so with me just because I happened to be there…I…I…"

He could not answer her as it was a choice between insulting Aizuki or betraying Sakurako.

The truth was that he did not see her as the replacement of Sakurako, but simply as Tanako Aizuki herself. As for what happened that night… it was true that he desired her but he did not think it was just because he wished to sleep with a woman and she was right beside him. After all, this was the first time he felt desire for a woman other then Sakurako.

But was not such a thing wrong?

"_I will not hurt myself if you are not there, but I will be waiting to be reunited with you again. Thoughts of you will keep me occupied until I finally see you."_

"Please forget about that night completely. It will be the best thing for both of us." He finally said, and much to his relief she gave what seemed like a nod.

"It seems that you have the worst luck in regard to boyfriends." He finally said, wanting to change the subject.

"Not all girls can score a guy like you." She said rather mockingly, resuming her drinking as soon as she managed to stop crying. "But I suppose only someone like her deserves such a perfect boyfriend…"

"_You are the best boy friend in the world! I am sure that no other guy will agree to my demand without any protest."_

"How are you going to get home?" he interrupted her, partly because he did not wish to hear these words being whispered by his memories again, and partly because he truly was quite anxious about her wellbeing.

"Taxi." She muttered.

"You do know that you will make a very good target?" he reminded her with great concern. "You are a pretty young woman, and by being so drunk you are really tempting people to take advantage of you as you will not be able to defend yourself at all…"

He was forced to stop when she literally fell face down onto the table.

"Tanako? TANAKO!"

"Don't worry, she hasn't drink enough to be in any serious danger." The bartender assured one of the bar's recent frequent customers. "But she will have one heck of a hangover the next day."

"Has she paid you?"

"I already did..." She muttered out, making his deeply relieved, as this indicated that she was still conscious.

"I'll take you home then." He promised her, signalling for his bill.

It was unusually low because all he ordered for the night was a non-alcoholic cocktail, he really couldn't recall the last time he actually left a bar without feeling at least a bit tipsy.

"I don't want to go home." She said rather childishly and added almost sulkily when he picked her up: "And I can walk myself."

He ignored her protest by continuing to carry her, she was not as light as Sakurako since she was taller, but she was not so heavy that he couldn't manage.

"Where do you want to go if you don't want go home?" he pointed out logically, carefully keeping his voice very soft, how surprised his students would be if they could hear him !

"I don't know. Just not home…I can not deal with Akio right now, and I don't want Ashita to see me like this."

"Should I take you to my apartment then?" he offered, brushing her loose hair back since her hair ribbon was untied when he lifted her into his arm's. "I promise I wouldn't do anything to you."

"Because I am not her." Her tone was very strange as it was almost filled with bitterness.

* * *

They happened to encounter a taxi driver who was very talkative with his customers, the type of men you would be glad at meeting as long as you are not in the situation Watanabe and Aizuki were currently in.

"Young people, always celebrating so excessively." He commented.

"Well…celebrating is not exactly what we were doing." Watanabe said dryly.

He and Aizuki were both sitting in the back seat since she couldn't even sit upright any more. Right now, she was half lying against him, her head rested against his chest. He ignored her protest of wanting to lie down as he was forcing her to drink the large bottle of water that he brought from the bar.

"I've seen too many young couple spending their nights drinking together." The taxi driver continued easily.

"We…she isn't…" he immediately protested, almost splashing water on her face due to his hand's sudden movement.

"Are you two not a couple? That's a big pity." The taxi driver said in what seemed to be true sincerity. "As soon as I saw you two I thought you make a very pretty picture together."

Watanabe could only plaster a smile on his face, while he inwardly cursed their bad luck at having to meet a romantic idealist in the form of a middle age taxi driver during the middle of the night.

But strangely enough, he couldn't just dismiss these words.

More then once, he asked himself whether he deliberately made his apartment this messy in order to conceal the lonely atmosphere. With his things scattered all over the place, as well as the washings in the sink that was only done once a week, he could almost pretend that it was not empty…

He would have loosened her obi so that she could sleep better if it wasn't for the fact that this might be interpreted as an attempt of rape. He almost ruined this strange friendship that they had by doing a similar thing, so he was determined to not make such a foolish mistake again.

"Who are you?" he said out aloud as he spread his best blanket over her. "Who are you to me?"

He actually inserted the key of his bedroom door in the lock before he went out, so that the room will self-lock, making it impossible for him to open it by any ways other then kicking it- which would then wake her up.

The realization that all of his keys were in one bunch only came when he was about to go to sleep. Not that it mattered because tomorrow was Sunday, which he usually spent by recovering from his hangover, and catching up with any unfinished marking.

"Just what am I doing?" he finally asked himself as he slouched on the sofa with a cigarette in his hand.

His former coaches and teachers were all rather shocked at seeing him smoking, since he was so devoted to tennis. Likewise, most of the boys he has taught would often tell him about how bad smoking was.

It was not as if he didn't know what he was doing and even if he was completely ignorant, the now bold warning on every packet of cigarettes would firmly established this fact.

Smoking became a slight release since it numbed his brain. Since it did not have as a drastic effect as alcohol, he could smoke almost whenever he wants.

Almost, as there was times when he was forbid to do so. Tanako Aizuki made her disapproval clear, while he could recollect the numerous times all the buchou and fukubuchou of Shitenhouji's tennis club asked him to smoke outside during their practices. Although even Shiraishi had to give up in trying to convince him to not smoke in the middle of their games- if it was not indoor.

Sakurako would be the one most upset at this, but she was not here anymore.

* * *

Aizuki's first reaction upon waking up was to pull the blanket over her head, since her eyes were always really sensitive toward the sunlight whenever she has a hangover.

She then realised that she was actually sleeping on a bed, not her futon.

"Where am I?" she wondered out aloud. Right now the only thing she could recall was being in that taxi with Watanabe, who was making her drink water…

This must be his home then.

It was not as if she held him in low esteem as what she would soon do could be interpreted as an insult, but she was a bit paranoid.

She quickly cheeked to see whether she was still dressed, and only breathed a sign of relief at the sight of the familiar tied obi.

"I am sorry for thinking that you would take advantage of me but I am not sure if I trust any man other then my twin brother to look after me when I get that drunk." She muttered out in justification.

Her first attempt of standing up failed horribly as she immediately bent forward due to the sudden strong nausea. But she actually smiled due to the sight of the thoughtfully placed bucket beside the bed.

She felt even more guilty when she saw the keys on the door. He had told her that he only had one set of keys…

Her 'host' was still asleep. He was slouching on the sofa with his long jacket as a blanket although there were more suitable things that he could have used as beddings. He was no longer wearing his hat so she could finally see him properly for the first time since the funeral. It was not as if that bucket hat completely veiled his face but it did make a difference.

The rather filled ash tray beside him made her frown, surely he did not spend the whole night smoking.

"Are you the one that caused him to do this?" she whispered.

This room might be empty to Watanabe, but Aizuki felt that Hanamura Sakurako was still here, lingering because the man that loved her refused to move on with his life. But from what she had heard in junior high school, as well as what Watanabe said, she would probably be doing the exact same thing as her fiancé if the situation was reversed.

There, right beside the ash tray, was a photo. Even if she has never seen Sakurako before, she would easily be able to guess the identity of the girl. Unlike everything else on the table, as well as the table itself, the photo was free from any cigarette ashes or even dusts.

In the photo, Watanabe Osamu was smiling with true happiness, a different smile from the one he gave her, it was the smile she often saw when they were still in the same school.

Of course, the smile was always the greatest when he was with Sakurako.

Why did her heart suddenly ache? Was it jealousy that she never managed to make any man this happy with her mere presence? Her boy friends would greet her with a smile, but it was not like Watanabe- not as if he had been waiting to be with her throughout out the whole day.

The girl in the photo was probably only a year or two younger then Ashita's current age, but while Aizuki admitted that her little sister would soon be described as a young woman, Sakurako still seemed like a child. The thin strapped dress with a cut that was almost too low still failed to make her look mature.

Why? Was it her face? Because it just seemed so innocent, so oblivious to the rest of the world.

"I think I can understand why you love her so much." She admitted as she carefully restored it to its rightful home.

* * *

Unlike Aizuki, Watanabe find waking up quite pleasant. He was not drunk so he could enjoy the smell of food coming from the kitchen.

"This is a thank you for last night." Aizuki said as she put the bowl of noodle that was generously filled with meat in front of him. "I don't know what you want to eat so I just decided to make this since you had half a bag left along with some meat that would probably go off very soon…"

"Thank you for this. But aren't you going to eat anything yourself?"

"Anything that goes in will go out within five seconds." She said dryly, resting her head against her hand. "I cannot remember the last time I was in that state."

"Where would you have gone if I did not happen to be there?"

This was almost a lie, as he deliberately went to that bar with the hope of finding her.

"I…I don't know." She admitted. "The times when I get so drunk as to forget everything I would usually be accompanied by friends or workmates, so I tended to wake up in their house. As I said before, I really do not wish Ashita to ever see me like that."

"You care a lot for your sister's approval." He commented, something that he has been quite curious about.

"I have told you that my family's situation was not very happy, and it only improved when Ashita was born. Sometimes I think it was because she was born." Aizuki began rather slowly, accepting the cup of tea that he quickly made for her. "By that time our financial situation was much better…well, it must have been as they wanted another child." She said rather dryly. "My first reaction upon hearing that I would be having a sister was to pity her for having to suffer the way I had as I thought that my parents did not wish to have any girls. I think from that moment I sort of decided that I will protect that child who will soon be born."

"I can understand that feeling, I thought of a similar thing when I first saw Sakurako. She was just so innocent and naïve that I vowed to not let this world harm her if I could…" His reveries were immediately halted when her gaze transformed into a stare.

"I am not incestuous." Aizuki said in a very hard tone.

"I don't mean it that way." Watanabe hastily explained, feeling a bit embarrassed. "But I just wanted to let you know that I can understand the desire of wanting to look after someone."

"And then Ashita was born." Aizuki continued, but not before she gave him another glare, "My mother continued to work so Akio and I ended up looking after Ashita. To tell the truth, I think one reason that I love Ashita so much is because I seemed to have been the one she loves the most.

"I did not understand that my parents putting up with me is a sign of their love, so Ashita easily became very special to me because she always greeted me first. I, not my perfect twin brother.

"By the time she grew up my relationship with my parents have mended but my little sister was still the most important one to me because she was always so happy whenever she sees me. Since I was no longer hanging out with the bad girls of school, Ashita never realised what I used to be like.

"Everyone else often see me in the opposite way. To those who knew me from my school days I was the bad girl who reformed only to an extent. Didn't you think that I was the type of girl who would sleep around with any man that struck my fancy?" she reminded what he had said to her the day after the funeral. "I am afraid that if Ashita knows my past then she might see me in a different way. Right now I can be happy as long as that one person sees me as if I am perfect, even though I am the very opposite."

"I am different yet similar from you." He commented out, if it wasn't for the fact that she was still in a hangover from last night, he would actually offer her some sake from his fridge, as it was highly suitable for what they were doing now.

"You may or may not have heard about this but I actually have a younger brother." Watanabe began. "He is about three years younger then me so we weren't in Shitnehouji Chuu at the same time.

"He didn't play tennis but did tracking. He was good enough to be in the regulars, but knew that he would have to stop doing it when his finishes school. Because of this he deeply admired his niisan for being the buchou of a club, as well as having the ability of playing his chosen sport professionally.

"I still remember what he said the night before I went to England: 'You are really lucky, niisan, to be able to follow this dream. I would be so happy if I can do the same thing for tracking.'

"You can probably guess what happened…he was very angry with me when I gave up the opportunity of being a professional tennis player by deciding to become a teacher. While I felt betrayed as I was sure that he would support me when Sakurako died. Worst of all, he did not even attend her funeral…"

"And you two still hold this grudge after eight years?" she commented out in great disbelief. But why was this surprising when he was still dominated by thoughts of Sakurako?

"It is because we let this drag out for so long." He corrected her bitterly. "We had an argument about everything and I think I left my home, slamming the door behind me.

"Initially the door was still open, only that we were both too proud to go through it. But as the year passed, the door started to close, opening it requires so much more effort, which then made us believe that it was too difficult to succeed. And now that we are prepared to open the door and walk in, or walk out, we realised that the door is actually firmly shut and locked."

"I don't believe that." Aizuki said firmly. "I really don't."

"I've become a defeatist with Sakurako's death. What was that line? 'speak of one that lov'd not wisely, but too well.' I used to really like that play until I felt what he must have felt when the person he loved so much left the world because of him."

The time he spent in England was probably one of the happiest periods of his life. He had been training to become a professional tennis player as well as gaining an education that was taught in a more enjoyable way.

Sakurako's absence was the only drawback, but he was counting down to the day she graduated from senior high, as he would then marry her.

He didn't really know what marriage meant. He thought of it as simply being with the one you love forever, and because he was a young man in love, he was sure that everything would be ideal. After all, how could it be otherwise when the most important person to him would be right beside him?

"Watanabe-buchou…" Aizuki began a bit worriedly, seeing that he seemed to be lost in his reminiscence again. Was she actually jealous? Or was she just angry as anyone would when the person you were meant to be talking to has completely forgotten about you.

"Why do you call me that?" he replied back.

"You heard me?" she asked rather dumbly before she quickly said: "I can call you Watanabe-senpai if you want."

"What about just Watanabe? While our past connection of being in the tennis club might have allowed us to talk together on that day, I don't think that was the cause of our friendship, I think it is due to who we are right now. That is why I want you to call me Watanabe."

"I don't know if I agree with you but since you really want that…Watanabe-san."

"Is it really that difficult for you to say my name?"

"_Sakurako, you are now my girl friend so I want you to stop calling me 'Watanabe-buchou' or 'Watanabe-senpai.'"_

"_Then how should I address you?"_

"_By my name: Osamu."_

"_But…but…"_

"_What kind of a couple will we be if you don't even call me by my first name?"_

"_It just feels so strange. But because you want me to, I will do it, O…Osamu…Osamu-senpai."_

"_Without the senapi!"_

"_Oh I am so sorry! I'll try again. Osamu-san…"_

When she died, it seemed that there was no point in living anymore. Nothing mattered to him if she would not be beside him. Even though he was able to find some fulfilment in being a teacher, it was still not the same. He was happy at the successes of these boys that he taught, but he was only being happy for them, not for himself.

Until recently. He was actually beginning to hope that he would see Aizuki again because he enjoyed her company. When he finally saw her at the bar, he was actually really happy.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ **_I am going to try and write the next chapter because I actually have ideas in my head, but I think I kind of know where the story is going now, what will happen, and how it will happen. I realized, as I write this, and I think I should point it out, Ashita and Aizuki's brother will not really be important._**

**_Watanabe was making Aizuki drink water as it is said to be a method of stopping hangover. In regard to him smoking, that is actually a very serious issue- he's smoking in front of a bunch of kids who play sport! And as he must use to play tennis in order to be a coach I think it must be something drastic that made him smoke. (he was chewing on a toothpick in the semi-final but I think that was just because they were in a indoor stadium.)_**

**_This is really crazy but now I can sort of see Watanabe using to be a bit like Akutsu, but not as bad. Kind of a pity then, cause I can't use that idea in this story now..._**

**_Lastly, disclaimer: the line he quoted out is from Othello and a reminder, he actually went to study in England after he finished senior high school in this story._**

**_In the next chapter, members of the Shitenhouji team will make a guest appearance!_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note:**_ _**I recently watched the latest OVA (a bit of a spoiler) and I was so touched by Watanabe's gesture at the end of OVA 2- episode 4, or episode 17. When he told Gin that he can't play anymore, as well as saying 'I'll pick it (the tennis racquet) up.' But I've always like that scene as for me, it is another indication that he is a really good coach.**_

* * *

He used to always go to her grave every Monday morning, just like his visits to the hospital. He would place the bouquet that was once placed into the vase beside her bed onto the cold gravestone without fail in an almost ritualistic way.

"_I__ love all flowers, especially the ones from you."_

Quite different from Tanako Aizuki, who rather receive a permanent lasting gift.

"It's not that I don't like flowers but they fade just like the promises that would be told in each beginning." She had told him with a bitter smile. "An insecure person like me needs some thing lasting to serve as a reminder."

"Do you then demand him to tell you 'I love you' every single day?"

"No, that's not what I want. I desire simple gestures, not passionate kisses or embraces. I want…I need smiles of acknowledgement that tells me he is happy just because I am there."

The two of them would usually come to this bar about once a week, although there were times when this became a fortnightly meeting instead. He didn't know what she felt when he was not there, but he would actually be quite disappointed at her absence.

It was strange because there were times when the only words they said for the whole night was 'hello' and 'goodbye'.

Even more amazing was the fact that this did not make them uncomfortable, it was almost the opposite.

That was probably why he ended up going to her grave every Saturday instead of every Monday.

Since that incident of almost a year ago, they both tended to control their drinking, although the occasions where she had to help him walk to the entrance of the apartment still happened quite often.

Sometimes he really regrets this. Aizuki would not know how different it felt to have another person in his home, as well as being able to talk to someone face-to-face without having to go outside.

It was cliché, but you truly wouldn't know how bad everything was until someone showed you the opposite. He didn't realise how lonely he really was until he discovered what it felt like to have a friend again…and that was what she was, there was no other word to describe her.

She even motivated him to contact his brother. Their conversation was still frosty and he almost hurled the phone at the nearby tree due to a rather insensitive comment about his mourning. But nonetheless they managed to end the exchange in a civilised enough way this time, so maybe there was still some hope left.

"I really believe being siblings create an inseparable bond." Aizuki had stated very firmly the week after she spent the night in his apartment- the week after her reconciliation with Akio.

It was natural that he should think of her, because Sakurako never had these sorts of problems. Aoi probably loved her in the same way Aizuki loved Ashita.

Picking up the form in front of him he had to smile: this year would certainly be the most tiring and challenging year because Kintarou has finally become the buchou.

Last year's end of the year match was quite unusual: Zaizen had taken the title of buchou due to being the victor, but Kintarou was able to be the fuku-buchou without even participating. The first time such an unorthodox thing happened. Shiraishi had been the first second year buchou but he had took part in the match.

The non-regulars were all quite surprised that Shiraishi would not let Kintarou try for the end of the year match as he had been allowed to do himself, especially when he was clearly so fond of this particular kohai. But the regulars easily understood why, although they doubted that Kintarou would be burdened by the title of 'buchou' as Shiraishi was. However, they unanimously agreed that Kintarou should not be the buchou in his second as he clearly lacked the necessary responsibility.

Since it was clear that Kintarou would be the buchou in his third years, almost everyone agreed that he should be the fuku-buchou next year in order to start learning.

Shiraishi naturally disagreed, and Watanabe had to spend a very long time reasoning with him- what finally made him succeed was the reminder of what the club would be like if Kin-chan simply become the buchou the way he was in his first year.

"Beside, he will still be very happy. It is just that he will have to learn to be less impulsive, what he should now be learning anyway."

That was why the last last year's end of the year match was like the one he had participated- where there was only one winner as he never had a fuku-buchou.

What kind of buchou had he been? Definitely not like Shiraishi.

He was glad of this because he would never be able to forgive himself if he did what Shiraishi did, giving up the time he could have spent with her. He already blamed himself for going to England without her.

He did have the same goal, any buchou should have that, but his own wishes were equally important too. He probably spend more time with Sakurako in his third year then all the time Shiraishi spent with Ashita in all of their three years of junior high school.

Although he had to defend himself by pointing out that he didn't hang out that much with his other friends, as they both felt that each other was enough.

Which was why he was almost alone now.

He probably resembled Zaizen more then Shiraishi's own buchou. Since he never personally looked after any of his kohai in a way that singled them out, he doubt that anyone would have respected him the way Shiraishi admired his own buchou. He was also rather sharp tongued himself…that was another reason why Aoi had disliked him even before the accident.

They often had to play against each other since she was the buchou of the girls' tennis team and he teased her quite often…in such a way that prevented her innocent sister from realising it.

"I will certainly be having a very interesting year." He repeated these words aloud as he stood up, about to go onto the tennis court.

He welcomed stuff that would distract him, stuff what would prevent him from thinking too much.

"Am I just one of these things?" Aizuki had said almost calmly when they rode on her bike with her back facing him.

"The truth is I simply don't know what you are to me. Perhaps what you are to me is what I am to you."

She didn't say anything, he would be very surprised if she did.

* * *

There would always be additional duties other then tennis whenever Kintarou was involved. Even though the now third year boy had finally managed to stop his impulsive desire of challenging anyone that seemed quite capable to a match, his school work still left much to be desired.

Shiraishi once half joked that the reason he was able to remain so calm in his games was due to having numerous practise by playing against Hitouji and Koharu along with being the one who helped Kintarou with his homework.

"Which is one of the duties of a buchou." Shiraishi had explained.

It seemed that he was really trying to justify himself for doing something that was non-tennis related, and the pity was that he had been unable to find a explanation for how staying with Ashita would help the tennis team.

Shiraishi's words were partly true because helping Kintarou required great patience and self control. Upon seeing his geography test for the first time when he was only in his first year, half of the regulars had to rush out in order to laugh out aloud.

"Kin-chan…why did you label Osaka beside Mount Fuji? We can not see Mount Fuji from here, can we?" Shiraishi said as he struggled to prevent himself from laughing out like the rest.

"Shiraishi, that isn't that bad." Kenya whispered. "He labelled Chiba as being somewhere in the middle of Korea."

Having a good mark in academic was certainly not a compulsory requirement for being a skilled tennis player, but it was quite unacceptable for the buchou to have a very drastic report as it indicates that he was not ready to take the responsibility, as he was clearly unable to manage his time.

To a degree, Zaizen did help Kintarou, but half the time it ended up making the rest of the club wondering why their buchou and fuku-buchou were on the verge of arguing once again- in that aspect they could almost compete with the legendary new buchou and fuku-buchou of Seigaku.

So Watanabe did the majority of the teaching, although Shiraishi would often visit Kintarou- which always included helping him with his school work as well as playing tennis.

So overall, this year seemed much more busy then before, therefore it passed rather fast. Soon enough, perhaps too soon, that day was there again. The all important day when Shitenhouji had another chance of trying to achieve their dreams.

Since the nationals was held in Osaka this year, almost all of the students he had taught turned up to it wearing their old jacket, including Shiraishi's own buchou and Chitose, the latter coming all the way from Kyuushi.

Most of them simply sat along with the rest of their senpai and/or kohai, but Shiraishi and his team in his third year were all standing directly behind Watanabe. This was because the rest all unanimously agreed that they were the best tennis team Shitenhouji ever had.

Ashita was present too, sitting beside Shiraishi's own buchou. She did not come with her sister, which actually disappointed him quite a bit.

The only one absent was Kintarou, who was out onto the court. He finally had his wish of playing in a singles one match with Echizen granted, only that they were at the finals this time.

Once more, Watanabe watched these two boys play against each other while everyone muttered about how impossible this match was. Hours passed before there was finally an indication of everything approaching its end due to the appearance of tie-break.

"Kintarou, please win!" Shiraishi muttered out what all his previous team mates were thinking. For them, this wasn't just about Shitenhouji winning the nationals, it was also about whether Kintarou can be acknowledged as the better player by beating Echizen.

This was not unnatural as Kintarou was their kohai, and they- even Zaizen- were all truly fond of him. In the same way, their counter parts in Seigaku were thinking of the exact opposite thing.

After so many more serves the past point was scored…

Even though the result was now very clear, everyone was still waiting for the umpire to pronounce the fatal word- either to confirm that what has happened was what they believed, or to have a miracle granted by an opposite declaration.

"Game set and match, won by Shitenhouji's Tooyama Kintarou. Seven to six."

A loud cheer erupted from Shitenhouji as everyone who remained sitting down leapt up in order to clap and yell, or embrace their friends.

"Oh my goodness, Shiraishi is crying." Kenya commented out with a laugh, even though he was pretty emotional himself.

Of course Shiraishi would be crying, Watanabe thought with a smile as he watched Ashita gently wiping his face with the sleeves of her yukata. This has been his dream ever since he entered junior high school.

He was also more emotional then anyone else present as he truly saw Kintarou as his own little brother. What just happened was the next best thing other then him leading them as the buchou himself.

* * *

The two teams should be shaking each other's hand but this procedure was delayed due to the circumstance.

"I am so sorry, buchou." Echizen muttered out to Tezuka, who especially came all the way from Germany. "I wasn't able to let us win the nationals three times in a row."

"That doesn't matter." Tezuka said simply. "You've become the pillar of Seigaku."

"It is all my fault for losing." Echizen continued bitterly, a rather natural reaction since he hardly lost in his first year, when the finest of this generation's tennis players were all in the same level of school.

"You won last time."

Both of them turned around sharply at the sound of the new, but familiar voice.

"This is what happened two years ago." Yukimura said very calmly. "Akaya was apologising to me for failing to win the singles one match in order to let us be able to win the national three consecutive times. So it seems that you can lose after all."

Yukimura's words were rather cutting but those who knew why would not blame him at all. Upon beating Kirihara, Echizen calmly told him that it was impossible for Rikkai to win as he will not lose.

"Quite fitting, isn't it? Experiencing almost exactly what we felt." Yukimura continued. "Perhaps you can now understand why we were so obsessed with winning."

"Winning is not everything. You boys should all remember this." Watanabe commented out very sharply, the seriousness in his voice stunned almost everyone.

"Does this have something to do with why Shiraishi-kun is not in the senior high school tennis club?" Yukimura asked sharply.

"If you want to know the answer then you should ask him yourself." He said simply, before he signalled to Kintarou. "Perhaps we should finish this so the awards can be presented."

Kintarou nodded without any hesitation. Watanabe rarely ordered them, so when he did they would immediately obey as it must be quite serious.

"Congratulations but there is always next year." Echizen vowed as he went to shake Kintarou's hand.

But everything would not remain the same, Watanabe thought rather sadly, these boys have yet to realise how precious each period of life is.

Though this generation would be in the same level of school again, they were not all uniting. For example, Shitenhouji's buchou would not be Shiraishi as he was true to his insistence of never playing in a team, while the two wings of Kyuushu were in the same school again. In Seigaku, Tezuka was now in Germany while Kawamura was no longer playing tennis properly.

"_Do you worry about the future, Sakurako? When you leave school?"_

"_No, because you will be there."_

He was really no better then these boys who believed that friendships and relationships would never alter.

* * *

"And finally, the winner: Shitenhouji Chuu- Osaka's representative."

Each member gratefully accepted their medal, but when it was time for the buchou to take the trophy on behalf of all his team mates, Kintarou did not even raise his hand.

"I want to let someone else do this." He demanded, the tone of his voice indicated that he would just stand there until they agreed.

"But of course." This wasn't really a surprise as there had been many cases when the team wanted their coach to accepted the trophy.

But Watanabe doubted that this was the case.

"Shiraishi-buchou! Please come up to accept our trophy!" Kintarou yelled out.

"He just called me buchou?" Shiraishi examined out in great surprise, failing to take account of the second part.

Even Kintarou grew up, Watanabe thought fondly, but this suddenly made him frown as he had to ask him self whether Sakurako would have grown up too?

"The one who wins is the winner." Kintarou began, his voice unusually serious. "My own buchou in my first year would lecture us about this. I simply thought that he was just obsessed with winning. But later on I learnt that the reason he wanted to win at all cost is because he wanted his team to win. He was desolated whenever he lost not so much for himself, but because he felt that he disappointed us.

"I do want to win but I think the real reason I want my school to win so much is because of Shiraishi-buchou. As I played each game I was really motivated by the determination of winning for his sake, to let his dream of Shitenhouji winning the nationals be achieved.

"That is why I want him to be the one to accept this."

Watanabe was truly glad because he believed that Shiraishi really deserved this. It was not so much about him wanting it because that was what almost everyone wished for with an equally strong desire. To him it was because of the sacrifices he did in order to achieve this, and that he did it for his team, not for himself.

What Shiraishi choose to do was a normal enough act- to give up his own pleasure but because it was not drastic, he could and had to repeat it. No matter how mature he seemed to be, he was still a young boy who loved tennis, but yet he forced himself to play it in such a way that almost made him lose that feeling.

He could still remember how he once saw Shiraishi practising alone in the evening during his third year. The boy had been panting so much that he could barely stand, and Watanabe would have charged in and force him to sit down if he didn't do it himself.

He took out his precious photo and the sadness in his eyes was something that Watanabe could still recollect very clearly.

There were too many other things he wished to do, yet he ended up doing what he described as the most boring thing in the world.

"I did often feel sad during that period of my life." Shiraishi had admitted later on, when he was in senior high school. "But I was also very happy whenever the rest of my team was happy at our win. So Sensei, please stop thinking that I was miserable the whole time."

"But you could have been happier."

At this the boy nodded. "Yes, after all, I made a mistake."

He was a bit envious of Shiraishi and Ashtia. Any relationship would suffer, but ones like Shiraishi and Ashita's that mended after a split was much stronger then the one like his and Sakurako. It was harder to deal with a mistake after a long period of it being in a state of perfection, when you began to believe that a mistake would never happen, so you wouldn't have experience to deal with a more serious one.

"Sensei, come here!" as to be expected, anyone who had a camera wanted to take pictures. "We need you in this photo."

* * *

Maybe it was because he was thinking of her that made him spot Aizuki before her own sister did. Making up some excuse to his students, he went up to her, who was almost hidden behind the entrance of the court.

"Since everyone looks so happy I presume that Shitenhouji won." She greeted him with this logic.

She appeared very different today as she was not in her usual cotton Yukata, but in a furisode. He was not an expert in woman's clothing so he could not tell that the fabrics she used for her and her sister's yukata were very cheap materials, but even he could realise how much more impressive a silken garment was.

Nor was she wearing geta, but very formal zori as they was covered by fabrics.

Lastly, her hair was held up instead of simply being tied back.

"I was at a close friend's wedding." She explained, "I wore this as it is much more suitable."

"I've only seen you in yukata unless it is really cold, then you'd be in western clothing."

"I hardly have any western clothing," she said lightly, "and some of my yukata are not proper yukata as they are made from a much thicker fabric although they are still not very expensive."

"But that? That is always expensive." He gestured to the richly decorated furisode.

She had told him about this story just as Ashtia did with Shiraishi. Aizuki never had much clothes in the first place partly due to their family's financial problems, but it was more due to her parents tendency of confiscating her pocket money whenever she behaved really bad, not that it matter much as she was one of these girls who usually returned quite late.

Her mother could sew yukata relatively quick with her sewing machine due to her own mother, what Ashita was too young to remember. Aizuki only learnt this from her mother when she wanted to make a yukata for Ashita's birthday.

She seemed to have inherited her mother's talent, but luckily she didn't gain the additional ability of being pregnant at a very young age. These sessions actually bounded her with her mother and shaped her future.

"This was brought for me." She whispered out, resting her hands over the fine obi, the long sleeves dangling. "They…my parents secretly got this made a few days before their death. It's quite stupid really, they paid for it even though they could hardly afford it, and my twentieth birthday was in two years time."

She did not cry, she was stronger then that, but her eyes were very sad. She would rather have the money used in a way that would have improved their life upon their parent's death, but the mere though of this made her guilty as the furisode was her parent's final gift to her.

"I don't have a sister but I know that most girls want to wear their own furisode on seijin shiki." He began. "So I think you sister would be glad that you were able to do this."

"It's silly to actually think that but you are right." Aizuki admitted sadly before her voice suddenly hardened. "Did she tell you that?"

"Otherwise how will you know?" was the unspoken words that followed.

Much to her surprise he shook his head.

"I spouse she did enjoy looking at kimono but she never liked wearing them. What she idolized was western dresses."

As they were more like what princesses wore.

"I…I am so sorry." She muttered, knowing that he still heard what she did not say out aloud.

"I've only seen her in a yukata about three or four times." He suddenly said after a long silence.

"They can be problematic," she quickly agreed, trying to hide the rather awkward pause that she caused, it almost always arose when they both knew that he was thinking of Sakurako again. "But most girls do like them…oh, I think your students have noticed us."

"Aizuki, do you want to know me?" he quickly said, and immediately regret being so hasty as he didn't even understand himself.

But she must have as she shook her head before adding apologetically: "I do not know why but no."

"Neechan!" Ashita said happily. She made a move to hug her sister but quickly stopped due to seeing what her sister was wearing.

"Ashita, this is not that fragile." Aizuki laughed out as she embraced her sister affectionately. "and it will be yours very soon."

"Is this sensei's girlfriend?" Yuuji and Koharu asked innocently.

"No. Tanako-san is Tanako-chan's sister." Watanabe explained.

"I happened to walk pass here on my way home so I thought that I would come and have a look." Aizuki explained. "Since your coach was standing here I naturally began to talk to him."

"Neechan was in Shitenhouji as well." Ashita immediately said proudly, looking up from fiddling with the furisode's trailing long sleeves. "And she was a regular too."

"But we never did this well. Congratulations, all of you." She said politely before she turned to her sister again. "I know that you will be with Shiraishi but don't come home too late, all right?"

Just as she was about to leave after having secured a promise from her sister, she heard someone whisper the following: "I really thought that she is sensei's girlfriend."

"They do look very good together, don't they?" Ashita said.

"Ashita!" Aizuki said in a tone that was almost reproachfully, perhaps she was a bit bitter as such a thing was impossible even if she wanted to.

Not that she did at all…

* * *

Watanabe managed to caught up with her even though it had been some time since she left the stadium, as it was not very easy for her to walk in zori.

"For you." He held out something to her with his upward raised hand as he was bending down due to his running.

Another reminder of what his smoking has done to him.

Not that Shitenhouji's tennis club ever possessed Seigaku's policy of running laps whenever someone did something wrong, but he had done such a thing for trainings before. What had once been relatively easy was now almost difficult.

What he gave her was a photo of the two of them, when they were both forcing themselves to smile- almost making them appear as if they were a couple.

"I don't know why but Koharu actually brought an instant camera along with a digital one." He explained. "Upon discovering this in their enormous pile I was ordered to give it to you."

"Would it not be more practical to give this to my sister?" she pointed out rather dryly.

"They are boys, even though some will soon stop being one." He said rather indulgently. "No doubt you and I had been the same towards our teacher and regarded such incidents as a great entertainment."

"And my sister?"

"I don't think she even knows but unlike the rest, she will probably see this as rather romantic, although I am certain that you will be able to explain this to her."

"Is there anything that needs to be explained? I admit, my friends and I gossiped about any teacher's love affairs, especially if they are young- but I did not know that boys thought about these things too." She said as she pocketed the photo in her bag. "Oh do you want it?" she asked when she noticed that his gaze was following the object.

"I was just a bit surprised- I thought you were going to tear it up." He admitted. "But please don't ask me why."

"There have been too many questions that we can't ask each other." She whispered, more to herself then him.

He really thought that she was going to resume walking, but much to his surprise she actually took a closer step towards him.

"Since these boys obviously want something to happen you shouldn't disappoint them by returning so soon." She said, smiling and lightening the mood. "After all, we are friends, aren't we, Watanabe?"

"Yes. But tell me, why don't you want anyone to know about this friendship? As it really is just a friendship."

"That is one of the things I can not explain. Somehow it just seems that this strange friendship will alter if anyone knows about it…even my precious sister." She shrugged a bit at this. "And I want to continue being able to meet you and talk to you."

"That almost sounds like a confession." He said with a laugh, with a very light tone to indicate that his words would not be mistaken. "Do you want to go out with me then?"

Aizuki knew that he was joking, but she realised that she could not continue anymore.

"I am not so young as to desire the guy I love to always think of me the whole time as I know that it is likely that he might have once loved and still love other." She began very seriously. "But I can not stand someone who would only occasionally think of me…just when he happens to remember my presence."

"Did you expect anything else?" he said very gently. "Tanako Aizuki, unlike everyone else you know both what I am like as well as what I pretend to be like."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ _**First of all, the thing about Shitenhouji winning. Here is my justification: this is set two years after the current story line so basically all the first years are now third years so I don't think it should be that offensive to anyone, me making Shitenhouji winning over Seigaku. I really don't like Echizen as I think he can be really rude in the first meeting and I seriously can't stand his 'I will beat everyone else as I am the best'. I think there is a line between self-confidence and arrogance and I think he can claim the second. For me, the worse thing about him is that the author makes him invincible and have the above attitude. That is why I had Kintarou beating him (to be honest I think Kintarou would have beaten him if they get to play their singles one match). As for what Echizen said to Kirihara, to be perfectly honest, I think many of the stuff he have said to his opponent is like that. "You are just my stepping stone etc etc." That is why I had the whole Yukimura coming out to sort of teach him a lesson, the idea of him finally being in that position. Note: I do know that Kirihara played doubles in the nationals' final but before I know the order, I really thought that he would actually be playing singles 1 with Echizen.**_

_**By the way, the legendary new buchou and fuku-buchou I refer to is Momoshiro (buchou) and Kaidou (fuku-buchou) as I really believe that these two should be the buchou and fuku-buchou, I just don't believe that Echizen have the responsibility to be the buchou in his second year, even if he is the best at tennis. I think this whole series along with 'sacrifice' and 'chapters' has been exploring the idea that it is not enough just to be really good at tennis in order to be a really good buchou.**_

_**What Watanabe said is meant to be symbolic- showing that he is not ready to be what he is like yet, I guess you can simply say, he is still wearing his mask. Another important idea I hope to have got through is that he is actually thinking about Aizuki more, and thinking about Sakurako a bit less.**_

_**I also admit that for a story about Watanabe, this story seemed to have focused on Shiraishi perhaps a bit too much again, but on the other hand I have tried to make is so that he is sort of comparing himself to Shiraishi. What Kintarou did is a bit out of character but this is two years later, and this bit then sort of links to 'Sacrifice', how Watanabe told them about Shiraishi's sacrifice.**_

_**One last bit, the whole thing about Aizuki's clothes. She is wearing a furisode, which is a proper kimono. It is worn by young girls who are not married, some sources say that you can only wear it when you are in your twenties, while other sources just say that you can wear it if you are unmarried. But the special thing about a furisode is that it have very long sleeves. It is also very expensive, so you often hire one instead of buying it, and if you own one then it is likely to have been an heirloom.**_

_**The 'seijin shiki' is the Japanse coming of age ceremony and it is on the first second Monday of January and you go to it the year you turn twenty, (for more detail please cheek wikipedia.) So that is why Aizuki mentioned that her twentieth birthday was about two years away. Basically you are regarded as being an adult from that day.**_

_**The important thing is that girls tended to wear furisode with zori (which is a formal type of Japanese shoes). I think you can also dress like this if you are going to a formal tea ceremony or a wedding. (I had problems with this again, as some sources say you can wear a furisode to a friend's wedding, while other says you can only wear it to a relative's wedding. I think the formal is more right- which is why Aizuki is dress the way she is (and for the sake of the story I want to let this scene happen: Watanabe seeing her in a furisode).)**_

_**By the way I said that Aizuki drives a motorbike, she actually drinks just at the regulation, so she is not doing anything illegal. She actually didn't drive her motorbike the day she got really drunk.**_


	5. Chapter 5

The majority of her clothes were yukata, but she did have some western clothing as they no longer lived in a time where one could wear traditional Japanese clothing for ever single occasion. But because she worked as an assistant in selling traditional Japanese ornaments and clothing in a department store, as well as being one of the workers who adjusted fabrics, she was expected to wear yukata as her uniform, since few could afford kimono.

But she was dressed in a western dress right now, with an additional shawl that she had made from scrap fabrics herself. She was like this as it would be too ridiculous to wear a yukata in a watching a ballet performance. As she usually wears a yukata, she felt that her arms were too exposed whenever she was in a sleeveless dress.

She could have more Western style dresses as it was not hard to make them, but she still preferred Japanese style clothing.

Very different from Watanabe's precious Sakurako.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her companion arrived back with two glasses of wine. She accepted the gift with the same smile that had attracted him so much.

"I feel very strange doing this." She laughed out. "It is as if I am Cinderella going to her ball."

"Cinderella met her prince charming that night, so perhaps we…" he teased rather suggestively as he leant a bit closer.

"I am not going to be charmed so easily." She said rather briskly, her tone made him recall the first time he tried to ask her out. He had suffered quite a fit of depression when she said the following very calmly: "If you try and do anything then I will scream out rapist as loud as I can, and be assured that I will be heard."

True, it was his own fault for sitting right next to her in the empty bus stop when it was night time, but he still felt quite dejected to be mistaken as a pervert.

"I have no intention of luring you with wealth." He replied back easily. "First of all, despite what people says and thinks, doctors still have a rather limited budget."

"So I take it that you do not usually do this?"

"Of course not, and I certainly don't live in an elaborate mansion. My house is actually a traditional Japanese one with futon in it."

She met him when she was working- he had nervously asked her to help him in selecting a gift for his sister. She dismissed him from her thought completely as soon as she saw him off after purchasing the rather elaborate hair ornament she recommended. Most of the customers were woman, but there were often men as well, so she did not really particularly remember any of them.

He only managed to convince her that he was not a rapist or even remotely connected with such things after bringing some of his close colleagues to vouch for him.

"Fine, I apologise." Aizuki had said. "I will go on a date with you as compensation."

That was why she was with him here instead of going to the bar to meet Watanabe, although that was not really an appointment.

"Let us head back now, the show will be resuming soon." he said as he looped his arm around her's.

To be treated like this was novel experience for Aizuki: he opened the door of the taxi for her; he pulled her chair out after he draped her shawl on it; he held up her shawl when she stood up. She was not an extreme feminist so it was quite fun for her date to behave like a perfect gentleman in every aspect…

"What's wrong?" he whispered due to catching a glimpse of what might be a frown.

"Nothing!" she quickly made her voice cheerful and tried to get rid of the thought that suddenly appeared.

Was this how Watanabe treated his precious Sakurako? Doing everything for her if he could. Unlike her. She often had to play the active part in their relationship by doing stuff like driving and helping him home.

* * *

Her thoughts turned away from focusing on the ballet that had previously enthralled her so much, as she found herself being occupied with a much bigger problem- the confusion she was feeling was more dominating over her empathy with the story.

What did she really think of him- this man she agreed to go on a date with? He would most likely offer her the opportunity of having another date with him before they part ways.

He was the same age as Watanabe, but that was probably the only similarity. He seemed quite cheerful, at the very least he was not burdened by some tragedy that left a deep scar.

The greatest difference was that he gave her his complete attention and she knew that he could and would continue doing this on any future dates, his mind was not completely occupied by Sakurako.

Aizuki was a realist, not a romantic. She often agreed to go on dates with people she hardly knew and continued dating them as long as she did not really dislike them. Many of the affections and love she bore for her boy friends only appeared after numerous dates.

Her sister's first date was something that she had been waiting for quite sometimes- it was not a coincidence that she wore her best yukata to the local festival that night. This was a great contrast to her own first date. Aizuki had been hanging out with her friends when her first boy friend approached her and asked whether she wanted to do something with him after school.

Since she didn't see why she should not agree, she gave a nod.

She had only been twelve, at her second month in Junior high school. She was quite infamous in her elementary school as the girl 'boys should stay away from'.

The two of them spent the night wandering around and he then offered to kiss her when she was about to leave, making her stay a bit longer due to wanting to experience that strange sensation again.

If she was honest then she must admit that her relationships in junior high schools were more like experiments.

She first realised that she loved someone that was not related to her at all when she was in her first year of senior high school. He had been her class mate in junior high so they were both very glad to be in the same class again.

Their friendship transformed into a relationship and she knew that she loved him when she wanted him to be as happy as her whenever they were together.

But she quickly became disillusioned due to breaking up with him after an argument about sex. Since she would kiss him passionately, and let his hand wander to almost every part of her body, he was furious when she refused to sleep. Now that she was much older, she admitted that she was not completely blameless as she tended to laugh and chat with numerous other boys despite the presence of a boy friend. He did have grounds to believe that she might have been cheating on him.

Her view on marriage was even worse, it has never been idealistic. Her parents was the cause of this as she had seen the two of them fight too often. They would always end their arguments by clinging onto each other passionately after yelling and even throwing stuff at one another in the more severe fights.

"See, everything is alright as long as they love each other." Akio whispered as the two of them took turn in peeping out from the key hole.

"If love is really important then why do they still fight?" she had retorted cynically.

Starting any relationship with the idea that perfection would not last helped her to deal with the first crack, but the consequence was that she never tried to cling onto anything with the hope of mending it completely- she simply accepted that there would always be arguments and faults.

That was why her view on marriage was not romantic at all. She agreed that marriage should only be made to the one that you love the most as well as the one who love you the best. But her idea of loving someone the most was not romantic, it just meant that she never wanted that person to be with another person. Yet it was alright to part from them occasionally as long as she knew that they would be waiting for one anotehr

Marriage for her also meant bringing sex in. Initially, she was simply paranoid at being a teenage mother as her mother was, but her reason now was because she saw it as being the most intimate gesture one could do.

If she ever get married then her marriage would be simple- welcoming her husband home happily yet still wave him to work with the next day without any grief. Although she was not sure whether she would give up her own job completely, but she was certain that she would not be clingy in that aspect.

Could love grow between her and this charming suitor? Would she ever be at a stage when she wanted him to be so happy just by seeing her, or to desire being able to share a home with him.

Aizuke almost scrunched up the program in her hand when she realised that the answer to both question was 'no'.

She wished for these things with Watanabe.

She used to simply feel sad at his inability of moving on as anyone would upon such a pitiable sight- a man clinging onto his memories as well as trying to live in the past, where each day was a count down.

A man who was nothing without that one person.

But now she was sad due to a different reason- she wanted to make him happy, she wanted him to be happy because of her. After numerous poundings and denials Aizuki had to admit that what she felt towards him was how she loved a boy friend.

This was not a friendship anymore, and continue telling herself this was a lie.

She does hope for the happiness of her friends as well, but the difference was that she would never grudge another for making any of her friends happy.

She was in love as she wanted to be the one to make him happy instead of Sakurako.

The most ironic thing was that she did not even know how it all happened. It certainly was not something that she intended- being in love with a man who was determined to mourn for the rest of his life.

* * *

Her first date with the doctor was to be the last, as she gently refused his offer of being closer with her by the simple yet effective words of "I will never end up loving you."

He was naturally disappointed, but it was not a great wound as what he felt was only a liking that might have developed into something deeper. But it was not love now.

"If it is like this then it can't be helped." He told her gallantly as he did his last service- calling a taxi for her and opened the door before he paid the driver.

Upon being asked where she wanted to go, she gave a bitter smile before she said the address of the graveyard that Sakurako now rested in.

"Young lady, that's a…."

"I know what that place is." She interrupted briskly. "And I want to go there- I will pay any extra money that incurs."

"That…that is not the main point…"

"Just take me there, you can leave as soon as I get off."

* * *

Once you had expectations then you would begin to feel that what would happen was natural and stopped hoping for it. The problem with such incident was disillusionment.

This was the situation Watanabe was in right now. Thinking whether he should beg for help from alcohol once again. This was not a novel situation but the surprising part was that Sakurako was not the cause of this in anyway, it was Aizuki's absence.

The two of them did not come here every week, but her current absence gave him a rather negative emotion because he knew why she was not here.

He emptied all the content of his glass in one go- something he has not done for quite some time.

Incidents could be interrupted as chances or excuses, and he could apply both definitions to what happened that day. Falling asleep on the bus and therefore missing his stop was not something that he planned, but he went to the department store she worked in out of his own desire. Going there actually required him to do some extra walking.

He knew where she worked, but he no longer goes to department stores. Why would he go to such places when he had no one to buy presents for? All the basic he needs in his life were obtained from the local supermarkets.

Sakurako was deeply fond of this place and she used to drag him along as she admired numerous objects that she could not afford to buy yet. He failed to understand why she took so much pleasure in doing this, but he never once complained as anything that made her happy was automatically labelled as something that was good.

Whenever he saw her gazing at these fancy wants in longing, he vowed to one day let her have all that she want.

A rather idealistic desire, but he had only been a teenager.

Strangely enough it no longer hurt so much. He definitely still wanted her to be with him, but he did not seem to be possessed by that mad urge of joining her.

He never attempted suicide, but he had longed for her so much that he did hope to be able to depart from this life soon as this was the only way for them to reunite.

Her absence remained the greatest pain in his life, but he realised that he had other things he truly enjoyed. He was still able to look forward to a day even though she would not be there.

But how could he even be happy when she was not beside him? Was all that he said a lie?

"_Answer me, how much do you love me? I need a proof of this because I simply can not understand why you are willing to leave me behind by going to England?"_

"_I love you, I love you so much that I will be happy in England by simply knowing that each passing day will shorten the period before we marry. The fact that you are here and waiting is enough to make me happy."_

"_What if I am gone from this world?"_

"_Don't say such a thing!"_

"_But what if this happen?"_

"_If you have to have an answer then I will give you one. As I told you before, you are my source of happiness. I am simply happy because you are here. If you are not then I will not be able to be happy again."_

But he still found himself smiling upon seeing Aizuki, who was sorting out something in one of the cabinets, her back to him. He was just about to announce his presence when someone walked pass him and patted her on the shoulder.

Watanabe had not seen her twin brother since he graduated but he knew that the man who just appeared was not Tanako Akio.

He immediately hid so she only saw was the stranger when she turned around.

There was a slight pain in his heart when he saw her letting the man kiss her hand in a chivalrous fashion. The pain increased when he heard her say: "Have you decided on a day for our date yet?"

Was that her new boy friend? But she never mentioned this at all…he immediately scoffed due to the idiocy of his thoughts. Why would she tell him about her love life? He was only the friend she had a meeting with once a fortnight or so.

"I have, what about Saturday?"

"Saturday?" much to his relief she was expression some doubt about this.

"The tickets for the best seats are only available on Saturday."

"Of course, the universal rule- the first date always has to be the most elaborate one." Aizuki teased.

Watanabe was not sure what he felt- it was almost like the jealousy he used to experience before Sakurako became his girlfriend, what he would feel whenever he saw Sakurako talking to some of the boys that he knew liked her.

It was only a similar feeling because he refused to admit that it was identical.

* * *

That happened three days ago, on Wednesday. He had deliberately devoted himself to his work, not very difficult because the end of the year always resulted in chaos for both students and teachers.

Comparing the bar to a confessional was probably going too far, and he was not even religious. But he almost felt that he had to be truthful in that place. He let Aizuki know what he really was like, just as she had told him about her troubles.

There was no use in denying the truth, he realised, when he finally drank what he ordered as he knew that she would not be arriving tonight as she choose to go on a date with that man instead.

He was jealous.

"But I should not be jealous!"

Aizuki was only meant to be his friend because Sakurako was the one that he loved. He should be glad that Aizuki was going out with someone after staying single for so long. Now that he thought about it, the only time she mentioned her boy friend was at their first meeting.

So she has decided to go out with someone, this surely indicated that she was only single because she didn't find anyone she liked before, not because of him.

He could go to Sakurako's grave again, was it not natural for him to spend time with her instead of thinking about Aizuki?

* * *

The taxi driver speeded away as soon as she stepped out and Aizuki was almost regretful that she did not leave her shawl in his car as a wandering sprit tended to do. Or maybe he thought of her as a kitsune.

It was spring, but the night was still rather chilling, and the location made the night colder then it really was because few could be completely unaffected in a graveyard.

Her grave was very easy to find due to the sakura tree right beside it. The tree was almost in full bloom and the way its fallen petals mingled with the freshly placed flowers by Watanabe made Aizuki felt as if she was intruding between two lovers.

"But you are not here anymore!" Aizuki whispered as she knelt down in front of the stone and pressed her hand on the grave, as if she was a supplicant clutching to the hem of some robe. "Why do you make him continue grieving for you in such an extreme way?"

The first drop of tears came as sudden as the knowledge that she really was in love with Watanabe Osamu.

"You occupy his mind so much that he must spend the rest of his life in sadness for the mere fact that you are not here." She continued. "Why do you not let him forget you so that he can be happy? Right now he can not be happy because he felt that it is wrong to do so because you are not beside him.

"Let him go…" Aizuki whispered, her fingers tracing the carved name, there was naturally no dust since the visit was very recent. "Please…please stop being everything to him. You love him, don't you? If you really love him as much as he believes that you do…as much as he loves you, then you must want him to be happy even if it meant that he would not be constantly thinking of you."

* * *

He was a bit surprised to see a taxi speeding past him as few people visited the graveyard at this time, and those few in there would have their vehicles waiting for them.

But maybe the taxi driver had been the one to visit the grave of a loved one. Not that such things matter to him, her presence was so strong here as this was her final resting place. A bed beneath the tress of her name sake which she had loved so much. He could almost see her leaning against the sakura tree with petals interwoven in her hair, the long trailing sleeves of a furisode sweeping the petals due to the slightest gesture.

No, not a kimono, he quickly corrected himself, she hardly wore traditional Japanese clothing. She would be in a dress, the hem of the long skirt covered by sakura petals.

He naturally did not believe that the woman in front of the grave was the spirit of the one that he loved the best, although the slight likeness gave him quite a fright.

Her hair was not tied so the petals were tangle within it, and since she was kneeling down, the end of her dress was weighted down by many fallen flowers.

"Aizuki?" he almost yelled out due to the shock and confusion of seeing her here. Since she was wearing a western style dress he was certain that she went to the date he was aware of due to eavesdropping.

Why was she here then?

"…you must want him to be happy even if it meant that he would not be constantly thinking of you." Her muffled tone along with the slightly hoarse voice suggested that she was actually crying.

The irony of the easily visible sakura right in front of him with the hidden moon almost made him laugh out aloud. Was this a divine sign? He would have laughed if it wasn't for her next words.

"I love him too…" Aizuki whispered out very softly, almost frightened. "And perhaps I can make him happy, but as long as he clung onto the memory of you then I can never make him happy, because he would only truly smile for you.

"No matter what he would never love me as he loves you, but you can at least let him love me slightly and gain peace, if happiness is still too much to ask for?"

He could not hear anymore because she was really voicing out thoughts he has entertained himself, things that he would quickly dismiss.

Her revelation about him also shocked him as he never once thought that she might be in love with him. But then he was really feeling a similar way- continuing saying it was only friendship when this was an outright lie.

The difficulty was that there were many things between love and friendship. Aizuki was definitely not a normal friend, but he what he felt towards Aizuki was not the same emotions he felt with Sakurako.

When Sakurako was alive he wanted nothing more then to be with her. He enjoyed holding and kissing her a lot but ultimately her presence was the most important thing. He could still take pleasure in many things if she was not beside him, but they would be marred by her absence.

What about Aizuki? He thought of her more often then he should, but the only time she would completely dominate his thoughts was when they were drinking together. He never thought of 'If only she was here' during any other times.

The incidents of the night made him realised something he has not discovered: despite not really being occupied by her, he was actually waiting for the time where he would see her.

He enjoyed their times together very much, but it was not addictive- he was happy as long as he knew that there would be a next time. The period of time within the interval was not extremely unbearable.

"I can not work out an answer myself." He admitted as he decided to ask for help, but only after he was sure that Aizuki would reach home safely.

* * *

Aizuki was not shocked to see him as she knew that she was the one who should not be here. But she could not help but to feel a bit resentful at the fact that he must have choose Sakurako over him once again by coming here instead of going to the bar.

"I can manage myself," she said once more.

"I know that you can, but I still want to wait with you just in case."

"And what would you do?" she suddenly asked, grateful that her face was barely visible to him. "Would you save me?"

"Of course I would!" he said rather indignantly. "Do you really think that I will watch anyone being assaulted and not attempt to help at all?"

"Of course," she repeated the words bitterly. "You would save me because you would save anyone. But tell me, in what position would you play the hero?"

"I want to know that answer too." Watanabe commented when she got on the bus, finally pulling out a cigarette.

That was why he soon went onto a train going to Tokyo- to the one very close relative of his that did condemn his decision of giving up being a professional tennis player at all.

If one was lucky then they would be able to have a particular relative that favoured them about almost all of their other kindred. In his case it was his aunt Emika- one of his father's sisters.

He did not know why but he had always been her favourite nephew, although she was carefully in making sure that his other cousins did not resent him for this. Not that she managed to hide this from them, but since she did not prejudice the others, his relationships with his cousins were never strained.

She became the relative he ran to if he needed a refuge because an aunt was usually less strict then a parent. She still remained very dear to him when he reached his teenage years as he could tell her things he had to conceal from his parents.

After Sakurako's death she became his main source of information, it was through her that he found out what has been happening to his immediate family.

But she moved from Osaka to Tokyo when he was still in senior high school- he talked to her occasionally, but rarely wrote to her saved for annual cards as he found himself unable to admit the truth onto paper.

Maybe things would be different if she still lived near him as she might have forced the truth out of him.

* * *

His aunt greeted him with the same answer she had gave him the first time he asked her about how long he could stay for: "Osamu, how long do you wish to stay?"

"Perhaps a fortnight, oba." He answered as he stepped into the house that always welcomed him no matter what. This house was relatively free of many memories as Sakurako had not been here before.

Her aunt's husband was from a traditional family so not only was the house in the same fashion, so was the interior decoration. Since Aizuki almost always wore yukata, he could see her fitting really well in here.

"Do you want to rest first?"

"Oba, I finally made a resolution and my courage will be gone if I delay this any longer." He assured with a firm shake of his head.

She let him retell all that has been happening to him in the past two years without interrupting him at all- what he needed the most.

"Osamu," she finally began, her voice very gentle, "It is not a crime to love more then one person."

"I know that…"

"Let me finish speaking, what I allowed you to do." She told him, almost commanding him. Upon his agreement- a slight bow of his head- she resumed speaking.

"You still love Sakurako even though you probably love Aizuki as well. You love them in very different ways, but nonetheless you love them both.

"I think what is preventing you from seeing this simple truth is the fact that you feel guilty- but you really don't need to. Do you really think that Sakurako would not wish for you to be happy by making you mourn forever?

Because Aizuki had said a similar thing to him, he already came up with an answer on the train.

"I know that she will want me to be happy, but she would be sad if I turn to another." He said steadily.

"Would you not wish for her to find love in another if you had been the one who died?" Emika finally said very bluntly, deliberately choosing this time to stand up and go to the kitchen.

"_What did you ask the gods for? What is the thing that you desire the most?"_

"_I asked for a lot of things. Doing well in a foreign university and country next year; having a safe trip on the plane; being able to win a lot of games…oh, don't sulk! I haven't finished yet. But this is the most important thing: letting Sakurako be happy."_

He would wish for that.

" 'Better by far you should forget and smile, then that you should remember and be sad.'"

He did not like the poem when he first read it as he applied it to his current situation and was disturbed by the idea that Sakurako might forget about him. He was quite afraid that he might lose her in this period of two years when he was in another country.

But he always wanted her to be happy and he now realised that he would wish for her to be happy at his own expense. Although it pained him to even think of her being with another, he would be glad if that person could make her happy if he was no longer there.

Nor would he see this as a sign of her loving him any less.

"I had boy friends before I married." His aunt told him as she returned with tea for both of them. "My first boy friend died in an airplane crashed when I was only in my teens. I never stopped loving him but I understood that he would not wish for me to mourn forever. That is why I am certain that Sakurako would not grudge you for loving another person.

"What of your husband?"

"I love him in an equally strong fashion. But it is not the same love because they are two different people. That is why I never stopped loving either of them."

"And your husband?" he repeated once again.

"He knows what happened and he understood because it is rare to find one who simply marries the first person that they love. I had another boy friend too, but we broke up. I still love him but it is not that a strong love although the fact that I love him will never disappear.

"You were so young when Sakurako had her accident and you believed that you would only love her. You do not just love Aizuki because Sakurako left you by dying- it is because you changed, Osamu.

"I do not know if Sakurako would change as drastically too, but I am certain that you two would have worked through your difficulties. But the problem is that she isn't here anymore. And you need another person with you…"

"Then I don't understand why you wish to remain a widow."

"I naturally didn't think that I would love another so much in the same way when my husband just died!" she said rather reproachfully. "As for now…it is because I do not want to get married again. I am used and satisfied with my life style so I do not wish to have it disrupt by another person."

"Why can't I do the same then?"

"Because you really wanted and needed another person beside you. Now it is because you are in love."

* * *

Emika did not approve smoking, but she showed a tolerance for her nephew as she understood the need of occupying oneself when some one you loved greatly died. She refused to let him smoke as long as he was inside her house, but indicated that he was free to do so outside.

Watanabe first smoked when he returned to England. Walking these same streets gave him a great sense of loss as he had believed that she would be beside him this time.

He brought the packet of cigarette on a sudden impulse that he still did not understand. In an equally strange whim he lit the first one, ignoring all his knowledge about what a cigarette would do. It was not an enjoyable experience, but he did find himself slightly distracted due to being more occupied with the smoke that was chocking him.

Like many smokers he smoked without ever being found of the smell that drove many people way, but he quickly got used to it as he was grateful for anything that diverted him from thinking about Sakurako.

He picked up another cigarette when the first one was finally gone, maybe the nicotine had already gnawed his brain by that stage. It did not work as well this time, but thoughts of Sakurako suddenly did not hurt that much.

But his current subject was a different person.

"Aizuki…" he whispered her name out softly. "I…"

The word could not be said yet as he was still not ready.

Emika pulled the shuttle door open and announced her presence when she saw that he almost finished his first cigarette. She knew that smoking was one of the few ways her nephew could find peace, although it was wrong as it was a temporary peace that was obtained in a way that would harm him.

There was something that she wished to give him, although she was sure that the real receiver of the gift had to wait sometimes before she finally held the gift in her own hands. But as her nephew was leaving for Osaka tomorrow she had to give it to him now as it was too valuable to be sent via postal service.

Lying on the table and carefully wrapped in tissue paper was one of her houmongi- a soft lilac one with plum flowers at certain parts.

"I want her to have this." She stated. "Although I understand that you might not give this to her until quite some time later.

"It is a very expensive gift, Oba." He pointed out, although he could already see Aizuki wearing it. He knew that she would look very well in a proper kimono even though he has only seen her in yukata before.

He wanted to give this to her because he would like to do something that would make her happy, and this gift will certainly delight her greatly.

"What she has done for you is much greater then anything that I can give her." She reminded him with a gentle smile. "She made you live again and I know that she let you be a bit more happy. Osamu, I love you as I would have loved the son that died before he even had a chance to live so I am very grateful to her." Her face was naturally pained but she quickly smiled again by telling him. "So be assured that your father will forgive you because you are one of his beloved sons, and all parents bear a great love for their children."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ _**This chapter got put up a bit later then my original anticipation because it is much longer then I thought. Since this chapter is longer then I thought I couldn't manage to talk about the issue of his family, his immediate family, which I wanted to do, but hopefully I can do it in the next chapter.**_

_**The greatest problem I had in writing this chapter is the idea of how you can love more then one person and yet love them both. To tell the truth I am not that satisfied with how I dealt with this in the last bit, when Watanabe talked to his aunt, but this is the best I can do. I really want to show that Aizuki is actually becoming more and more important to him, and it is meant to be shown by how he is thinking about her so much, and the fact that he is starting to feel guilty is another indication- he would not be feeling guilty at all if Aizuki really is just a friend to him.**_

_**Aizuki sees him visiting the graveyard as him choosing Sakurako over her because she did not know that he actually went to the bar first, and this bit will be a bit symbolic as it will have an aftermath, it be mentioned in the next chapter. Her job is explained as well, I think all I said about it in 'sacrifice' is that she worked in a department store. Basically she is a bit of a retail assistant and the section she is in charged of sell traditional stuff, and even deals with fabric a bit. The first character of Sakurako's name is Sakura, while the second character of Aizuki's name is moon, so that was what the reference in the graveyard meant.**_

_**I managed to explain the reason of him smoking, and as I said before, this is a serious issue. Him doing so is highly irresponsible because he does this in front of all these boys. I believe that he is a really good coach so that is why I think he must have some reasons of doing this, and the poem he quoted is by Christina Rossetti.**_

_**Lastly, a houmonogi is a type of kimono and even though they are worn by unmarried woman as well as married woman, I think they are usually worn by married woman more and apparently many woman would receive a houmonogi when they married- which is probably why it is more associated with married woman. You can wear this to many occasions as it is not that formal.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's Note: I actually got the next chapter (which will be the final chapter) written as well but that chapter need some major editing so I am not sure when I will get it uploaded.**_

* * *

Cleaning up his aunt's house became his excuse of staying for such a long time since her house was pretty big- unlike his parents' small unit in an apartment, or the place he lived in- he wasn't sure whether he could call that a home.

Although what he could do for her was rather limited as he belonged in the generation that relied on phone calls and the exchange of money to get things fixed. Unlike his father, a plumber who insisted on handling almost everything himself: he painted their walls; he tried to get electricity back by fiddling with the fuses and wires; he would pick up scrap timber to build any additional shelves and cabinets; he even unscrewed their radio with a book in front of him in order to get it fixed.

But this man wanted his two sons to be different from him, to be wealthy enough to let others do these things.

His father was the only income maker as their mother was a housewife, like numerous other women, her marriage was also her 'retirement'. He and his brother then labelled the family's account book as a crystal ball because their parents would always obtain counsel from it whenever they asked for anything. A plumber's income was limited for a family of four, so their parents were very careful in their expenditure to prevent poverty.

His desire of playing tennis caused them to frown but they still consented by buying a racquet for him- no young boy wanted to use another's discarded object. His allowances were also deducted in order to let him learn the consequences of his wants, but it back fired by failing to make the boy realise that the family expenses was still increasing. He really thought that he was paying for the majority himself.

It was not unfair to say that he took so much for granted because he only realised what a toll his tennis had been when he had to support himself. The first few months were hard enough and he had only been occupied by one person's living cost.

He could now understand his parents' anger- they had scrapped money together in order let him live his dreams, and he threw it all away when he was on the verge of achieving them.

But it was not easy for him either, because he could not forgive them for describing Sakurako as 'some girl' along with the suggestion that she was unworthy by saying she should only be second most important.

"They were not wrong." Watanabe admitted, pausing in his attempt of nailing something together. "No matter how important she is to me, my parents would always love me more because I am their son."

He was also starting to understand a parent's pride because he was feeling a similar thing towards many of his students. Whenever he saw Shiraishi and Kintarou being praised as the top players in Kansai, he would be very happy since he taught both of them for three years. Likewise, he was still disappointed that Gin stopped tennis properly after junior high school.

It was just like realising that your child did not want to step into the dream you wove for them due to having a different wish- something you saw as being inferior. Even worse was the fact that you simply could not understand why they would choose to do such a thing.

He knew that his parents still lived in the same place he once called home, but he was not able to just waltz in. The trouble was that the door remained shut, even though it was not locked as he thought it was. Opening it still required both effort and time, and this door also lacked a handle so he had to try and find out where he should put his hand.

Things could be easier, however, if someone pushed the door from the other side.

"The edges are a bit crocked."

"That can't be helped as that is the best I can do," he began dryly as he continued to hammer the nail in.

"Although you are doing quite good as a novice."

"Thank you…" his words trailed off when he almost whispered out the word that came so naturally to him despite him not having used it for such a long time.

"It's been quite a while, Osamu." His father commented from the door way with his aunt right beside him. Judging by the slight smile on her lips, she was definitely responsible.

"Quite some years…dad." He replied back.

Despite having a schedule of work hours that was always extended and never shortened, he and his brother were still close to their father because the family always spend Sunday together. They would go to the closest park when the two boys were still little, and when they were older it was enough to just spend the day at home together.

Sakurako's appearance then caused the first distance…he would always try to spend his free time with her instead of his family.

"I hope you are not getting too tired due to all that teaching and coaching. You must have been very busy as we heard that your team won the last national."

"Yes, they did." He immediately said proudly, before he realised that his aunt was not just his informant. "By the way, oba said that you are not working as much now."

"Well, now that you and your brother are both working, I really don't need to earn that much."

An embarrassing silence appeared as they were both recollection what had been said on the night he left. The father's disappointment made him abuse his son with accusations of ingratitude, while the son's anger at not finding support caused him to wilfully severe his tie from his family by the slam of the door.

"Is mum well?" Watanabe quickly asked, not wanting to recollect the sad gaze which was the last image he had of his family.

"She is very well, but she greatly misses the presence of our elder child as well."

"Then is it possible for me to visit anytime soon?" he finally said the real issue- the thing that they were most concerned with.

"Do you really need permission to return to your own home?" his father said very quickly, almost as if he was reciting some long-reached decision. "Well, one of your homes. We left your room the way you left it, although your mother does have to clean it occasionally. Osamu…you can take whatever you want away but I hope that you will leave some stuff, so you can return and stay the night whenever you want."

There was no dramatic speeches of forgiveness along with elaborate apologises, because their understanding did not have to be spoken out aloud. A family's bond was much stronger then what he had though, just like the love from them that he thought was gone has never left.

He once thought that the love he bore for Sakurako was stronger than anything else, and that was why her accident devastated him so much. He was starting to realise that this was not fully true, his family's love was equally important because their support would be enough to help him recover.

"But dad, why are you in Tokyo?" he asked once their work was done. The two of them ended up sitting outside the porch, his father holding onto their cups of coffee while he was smoking.

"I decided to help a close friend out- I really can not refuse, especially when he paid all the expenses." His father explained before he gave a slight cough. "Osamu, I will really prefer you to stop smoking."

"I know that I should." He admitted. "Actually…maybe…perhaps I can start now."

Haven't enough people complain about this? His colleagues and students, Shiraishi even paid a visit to his old school a month or two ago in order to show him a certain part of their science text book; his former coach and teacher; his aunt and now his father.

Of course, there was also Aizuki.

"By the way, dad, when do you plan to go back to Osaka?"

"Tomorrow."

"I think I'll make the trip with you." He decided. "And it is very good that we will be arriving back on Friday."

* * *

Much to his father's disappointment, he rejected the offer of going home with him due to some urgent business on Saturday. But he promised that he will visit and stay the night on Sunday.

The first thing he did was to store the houmongi- this was his primary task, things like sorting out his mail were only done the next day. Since he had a whole day to pass before he could hopefully meet up with Aizuke, he decided to go to the super market after he saw the extreme discount.

This was probably one of the first indication of growth, he thought rather cynically as he browsed through the aisles, when money started to limit you in ways other then not being enough.

He turned his thoughts to Aizuki when he saw a young girl that strongly reminded him of her due to being in a yukata even in this season.

Aizuki was probably quite good at such a task since she was the ruling woman of the house. Once or twice she would be complaining about the rising price of goods and their family's budget to him.

Sakurako would be like what he had been during the first few months he lived alone: His bank account was more likely to be in overdraft then not, while the pantry would either be too full or too empty.

But he would have been very happy to learn with her beside him.

A sharp pain at his feet forced him to stop his reverie and examine what was going on in the present: a boy had knocked over a pyramid of cans over and one of the tins happened to land on his feet.

"Say you are sorry!" the mother of the boy responsible demanded as she began to bow and apologise at the same time."

"It's alright, he is very little." Watanabe assured her.

He crouched down to help the boy to restack the cans as the pregnant mother would find bending down a most difficult task, and he could still hear the conversation at the next aisle amidst the mother's scolding along with her son's complaint, the seemingly familiar voice then made him concentrate even more.

"…I've never seen her like this before! She walked home in that down pour yesterday after she spent the night drinking with a friend, then she just slept on the floor of our living room without even changing out of her wet clothes!"

"We want the bag next to this can." A boy's voice gently interrupted the girl's word before he asked her what was the cause, this voice made Watanabe frowned even more as he was quite certain of the speaker's identity. Then his companion could only be…

"I don't know! All she would say is that 'he', whoever this 'he' is, would never feel that way." Tanako Ashita said bitterly as she stepped into the aisle Watanabe was in.

"Sensei?"

Coincidentally, he placed the last can on the very top of the pyramid at the same time. The woman let out another lot of thanks as she forced her son to bow with her once again, before she dragged the boy along by the ear.

"What a surprise this is, two young people spending their weekend dating in the supermarket." He began, making his voice unnaturally merry in order to cover his uneasiness due to what he just heard about Aizuki.

"As sensei would have heard, my sister is sick so I am doing our shopping for her." Ashita said politely.

"I really did not intend to eavesdrop in your private conversation with Shiraishi."

"No, I understand completely." Ashita interrupted him as soon as she was able to do so without being seen as rude.

"Sensei, you are an adult so can you help us?" Ashita finally muttered out. "How should I help my sister? What should she do?"

"It seems that she is in love with someone who is not able to love her back just yet." He didn't think that this would make them suspicious in anyway, and he was sure that Aizuki would be able to learn of the message giver's identity. "Perhaps this man is still torn between what he feels for his last girl friend and your sister. I think the best thing your sister should do is to be patient and give him a bit more time.

"Is this advice not good?" he asked when he noticed the two teenagers both looking at him a bit strangely.

"It is just that I thought anyone's instinct reaction would be to ask for more details as Shiraishi did." Ashita said simply, "Or be like my brother by telling her to forget about such a man."

* * *

As she sat up in order to vomit once more, Aizuki was seriously contemplating whether she should consider limiting her drinking, although the last time she got this drunk has been quite sometime ago- it was the night when Watanabe looked after her.

That would be about two years ago since her sister had just entered high school then, and Ashita would be a third year as soon as this holiday was over.

She felt a bit bad for letting Ashita do the shopping and her chores because she was still going to go out later during the night.

To go to the bar with the hope that he would be there this time. She need to have her believe confirmed, that he had been absent for such a long time because he was not in Osaka, as well as refusing the alternative that it was because he simply choose to not go there.

"Neechan, we are back!" Ashita announced as she entered their room. "Kuranosuke says he'll help me to make ginger soup for you. By the way, we met his coach from Junior high school."

"His coach…" she repeated the title rather numbly, almost wanting to say his name out aloud.

"I don't know if this will help," the younger girl began as she handed a cup of herbal tea to her sister.

"Our mother use to say that herbal tea can…" Aizuki said reassuringly, only to be interrupted.

"Oh neechan, that is now what I mean. I was talking to Kuranosuke about your problem and even though I was not being really loud, Watanabe-sensei still overheard me since he was at the next aisle. He then told me the following…"

Aizuki naturally listened to this with a great concentration because she knew that this was not a random piece of advice or consolidation. This was the direct words from the one who was causing all her pains.

His advice disappointed her greatly because he was asking her to do what she was already doing: waiting and waiting.

"Will I have to wait until I die?" she suddenly muttered- her sickness making her more bitter and cynical then usual.

"Neechan?"

"I am just tired about all this," she quickly said, handing the barely drank tea back in order to lie back. "I am too frustrated with waiting for him to understand…"

She then closed her eyes, causing Ashita to gently pull her blanket up before she walked out of the room very lightly. But the problem was that Aizuki could still hear the affectionate words between her sister and Shiraishi- her younger sister's relationship was too different from her own.

It was bad enough that she felt she was being the other woman, since she sometimes did feel as if she was stealing Watanabe away as Sakurako was just too dominating in his life.

But the worst bit was that she knew he would never love her back. He already saw Sakurako to be similar to an angel when she was alive, and with her death she finally managed to reach the state of perfection. There was nothing that can contradict this.

She reached for her cell phone at the nearby table in order to cheek the time and gave a bitter laugh due to the irony of her situation. Her phone could let her see a person that was some distance away, but she had no method of contacting him other then the most old fashion way.

All she could do was to wait for him at that place…

* * *

An elder sister should naturally try to not lie to her siblings, especially if one was younger, so Aizuki had to repeatedly assure herself that this was an one-off exception.

The nature of her lie was this: she was going to that bar instead of her friend Miki's apartment. Not that her siblings were eager to agree since Miki was the one she was drinking with a night ago.

Miki would cover for her because she understood what Aizuki felt after the two of them both broadcast their sorrow due to too much drinking. The other woman found her boy friend of long enough years in bed with another woman, something that hurt as much as loving someone that you believe would never love you back, as love seem to be absent in both cases.

He was there, and upon seeing her he actually put away the cigarette he was contemplating to smoke in order to walk to her. She was sure that this was the first time he did such a thing.

"I missed you." Watanabe admitted as he reached out a hand to help her, not only was she very pale, she was also shaking.

"I've been here every week." She retorted, refusing the offer by making her way to their old seat herself

"I was in Tokyo." He said and despite her protest he still took off his jacket and draped it on her. "Your cold will worsen if you don't take this. You should not even be here in the first place."

"We don't live in a time where you can get killed by a cold." Aizuki said dryly, although she nodded and stopped tugging at the additional piece of clothing.

"Why are you here instead of resting?"

"There are many things that I refuse to say until I know what your reply will be, because women can have a pride that is as strong as men's. All I will tell you is that I wanted to see if you will be here today.

"I am so sorry, I should have told you that I planned to go to Tokyo the last time I saw you."

The bar was always loud due to all the other customers and this highlighted their embarrassment when an awkward silence appeared. This was worse then usual as neither of them were drinking.

"Let us go somewhere else." He finally suggested.

"A date?" she said with a bitter smile.

"Why not?" this was not a joke because he really did care for her deeply, the fact that he felt a deep guilt was the proof that she was not just a friend to him.

"Tanako…no, I don't know why I still call you that when the two of us has long stopped being ordinary friends. That is the truth, isn't it?"

"As I said, there are things I will not say out aloud even though they are the truth due to pride." Aizuki interrupted him. "Don't expect me to tell you that I love you until you can say that you love me back."

"I know this, and I admit that I can not say these words yet because of so many things. I need time…Tanako Aizuki, I know that one day I will be able to admit that I love you, so please don't give up."

He offered his hand to her, and she respond by placing her hand over his arm instead of taking that hand.

"What do you think I am doing now?" Aizuki commented softly. "I actually rejected someone because of you. I realised on the very first date that I want to spend time with you instead of anyone else."

"I know. I saw that man finding you at the department store and I heard him talking to you about your first date. I was hoping that you would turn him down in order to meet me that Saturday. I was waiting for you."

"Were you not with 'her' instead?"

"Only when I knew that you wouldn't be going to the bar. I was actually jealous." He finally admitted. "And I felt bad due to that jealousy- that I was so concerned about you. This is why I went to her grave, to lie to myself."

"Did you leave Tokyo because of me then?"

"Yes and no. I needed advice about you so I went to the only one I could think of to receive it- my aunt who lives in Tokyo."

"But you still see this as her weeping, don't you?" Aizuke whispered. She disengaged her hand from his in order to stand underneath the sakura tree that marked the entrance of the park. Reaching her hand up she gently slapped the branch in order to make the tree rain.

"_Isn't this beautiful? I love the sakura so much and I wish that we can always come here."_

"_I love the sakura now because you love it so much. I will always think of you whenever I see a sakura tree."_

He had to deliberately recollect the girl in the pale dress who played with the petals in order to ignore the much more dominating image of the woman in her yukata.

"These petals are hitting instead of just being brushed across my face." He admitted, standing underneath the sakura with her. He held out his hand and caught the remaining petals. "Aizuki, I want to catch them even though they will still slip out from my fingers. Nonetheless I continue to try and grab onto them."

"_Let us swear by the sakura. The sakura can be the witness to our vows."_

If he stretched out his hand to her, he would be able to embrace her, and she might even allow him to do so.

She loved him, yet she refused to say this until he could tell her the same thing. Her pride was such that she refused to be a woman whose happiness depended on the man she loved, nor would she be like an adulteress who waited for her partner to leave his wife.

By not admitting that she loved him out aloud she was pretending that she still had alternative paths.

"I know she is not crying, yet I think she is." He continued. "I would rather her find someone else if I had been the one that died, but the trouble is that I need more time before I can believe this myself."

"That is good enough for me…Osamu-kun." Aizuki said. "I will wait for you."

"One more thing, Aizuki!" he yelled out because she was preparing to leave. "Your phone…can I…can I borrow it for a few seconds?"

"Do you want to see if I really am waiting for you?" she asked rather cynically, even though she handed the object to him without any hesitation."

"No, I simply wish to add my number onto your phone." He told her truthfully.

* * *

The next few months passed simply yet pleasantly for him. He would visit his family in addition to the meetings with Aizuki that was becoming weekly once again.

He was also very occupied due to a new lot of faces in both his class and team. Kintaoru's graduation was an important date not just because the young boy managed to complete his exams with a rather good mark due to his senpai. It was also because Kintarou's third year senpai were the students Watnabe had taught in his very first year. It was almost like the end of an era.

His finger really wanted to grab a cigarette but since he decided to call it quits he could only take out a toothpick and munch on it rather viciously.

He automatically picked up his phone when he saw that he had a call- not a very common event. His shock increased even more when he heard Aizuki's voice, as this was the first time she rang instead of texted.

"This is not a date but I want to meet you as soon as you finish." She stated briskly.

"Why? It is Thursday and…"

"My resolution will falter if I wait until Saturday. Come and find me in the xxx bus station."

"_I would really like to meet you but if I can't…I'll understand even though I'll be really sad."_

"You are really ordering, not requesting." He said to himself with a slight smile as he put the phone back, although he knew that it must be something very important and severe.

A frown replaced the smiling mask when the possibility of her giving up on him appeared. He did not know what would happen to him if she decided to do this, but he could suddenly feel a very deep pain due to the mere contemplation.

But he quickly dismissed this thought as he was sure that Aizuki would not break the news this way.

The only thing he could do was to wait for time to pass, and disciplining these boys should help time to travel a bit faster. Most of them had had wisely resumed their original task, although some were still in the position that clearly indicated them as eavesdroppers.

"Someone once told me that it is a good idea to give out a variety of training as well as learning from others." He began with his smile in place again. "So: thirty laps around the field, everyone."

"But our field is not the same size as Seigaku's!" the current buchou protested.

"Is that so?" he said in a rather pensive voice. "Then I guess I better add another ten laps to make sure that we will cover the same amount of distance.

"Alright, go! _Itteyoshiu._" He said merrily as he imitated Sakaki's famous gesture. "Isn't this enough? Do you guys seriously want me to do what Rikkai or Higa do? I suppose we can use natto instead of goya…"

Needless to say, not only did all of his students start to run, none of them dared to mention anything about the phone call later on.

He was not really dissatisfied with his life anymore. While he may not be experiencing that extreme sense of happiness he had with Sakurako, he was content enough.

Most of all, he felt that he was slowly taking off that mask. It was not very hard because part of it was already broken.

* * *

"Do you believe in fate?" was the first thing Aizuki said to him. "Or do you simply regard such thing as coincidences?"

To believe in fate was to admit that there was a higher power who already planned out all of his life, so all that happened was not a question of what he did wrong or right. Was it fate that he had to lose Sakurako and give up his old dreams? Was it fate that so many had to suffer so painfully?

"I think I do not." He said slowly.

"But I think I might. I believe what connected us is a coincidence but what made me meet up with you after the funeral was fate.

"Our connection, Osamu-kun, is not just having both been in the tennis club of Shitenhouji chuu at the same time, although I really wish that is all there is to it."

"You are taking me to a graveyard." He suddenly realised, since not only was the amount of people decreasing, everyone was speaking in a much softer voice.

"Yes, to my parents. I want you to remember something." Aizuki told him very firmly just as she was about to lead him into a place she was clearly familiar with. "I don't hate you and I never once hated you. Now I care for you so much more then I can say."

Not knowing why he began to relive that fateful night again: he and Sakurako had went to the night market together before they went to take back their wedding clothes from the dry cleaners. He had been wearing that hat which she was so fond of, while she was playing with the hair clips he just brought for her.

They were talking about England, both overjoyed at the prospect of their future: getting married and returning/going to England with one another.

The greatest tragedy was that he did nothing wrong at all. He was still concentrating on the road even though he was talking to his fiancée, he didn't drink at all even though they were celebrating, nr was he speeding- he was driving rather slow since it was quite late.

It was the driver behind him that made all these mistakes.

His car reached the cross road when the car behind him crashed into it with great force, at the same time there was two children crossing the road in front with their mother. So he did what he thought was the best thing: spinning the wheel to make the car hit somewhere else instead of these three.

The passage side crashed against the nearby tree after hitting the innocent couple who happened to return from some late night shopping- just like the children he saved.

Maybe he was the one who made the phone call, or maybe someone else did it. What he could remember after he felt the car crashing into something started in the hospital. He only found out about everything else from his parents.

"My parents rest here." Aizuki whispered as she pulled him to kneel down with her.

The date of death was the same day as that day.

"Aizuki…this…why…" he whispers became incoherent due to horror, all he could hope was that she would deny the truth that was suddenly revealed to him.

"That is what I mean." She said, her voice extremely gentle, "But as I told you, I never once blamed you at all because I understand that what happened was not your fault."

"But why tell me this?"

"Because I want you to know the truth which I think you would eventually find out. You will probably come with me one day." She placed her hand over his now trembling ones to prevent him from grabbing a cigarette as she did not know that he stopped carrying any. "Mostly I want to let you be at peace as I know that this must have troubled you a lot."

"Of course it does!" he snapped. "I killed them! If I wasn't for me you'll still have parents, not only did I…"

"But it isn't your fault at all! You just happened to be in the car that killed them. I thought about this more when I met you and I realised that it is as if you are holding a knife in your hand when another person grabs you to stab someone else. That reckless driver is the person I hate, and I hate him even more for making an innocent person suffer due to his crime."

"How did you know it was me?" he asked, this was not very important to him right now but he still asked this- he needed to think of something else right now instead of reliving that night again.

"The police told Akio and I about the exact circumstance, which we kept from Ashita, but they did not tell us any names at all. I only worked out that you were the other sufferer when I went to her funeral and heard about the car accident she was in."

She wrapped her arms around him and he gratefully leant onto her, feeling the soft fabric of her yutakta brushing his face. He was glad that she was so strong- that he could cry in front of her without worrying about whether this would frighten her, although this almost made him felt a bit useless as a man.

"I will be able to understand one day." He finally said, "And on that day I will be able to tell you that I love you. But Aizuki, you just increased the barrier."

"It will come to being anyway, and I rather you know it now instead of finding it out after everything else. But no matter what, my answer will remain the same.

"I will not tell my brother about your part in this," she added very slowly, "just as the two of us decided to give Ashita a less detailed version."

"And what does Akio-kun feel about this?" he asked after some hesitation due to being afraid at the answer.

"He is like me, we do not blame you even though we do wish that it has been our parents who were saved that day." She admitted.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_ _**I think I better clarify this point- I am not saying that Sakurako is not suitable for him with the constant comparison. I am just doing that to point out that Watanabe is slowly realizing that she might not have been perfect, because right now he regards her as being perfect- which is a barrier between he and Aizuki. So by recognizing her faults he is being a bit less idealistic. This is also important for him to move on, because it shows that he is moving from the idealistic view of how they would love each other forever the romantic way they had loved each other.**_

_**The whole personification with the sakura is him saying that he is not ready yet, because the two of them sort of compares and see her with the sakura.**_

_**Initially I wasn't going to deal with his reconciliation with his family in this story, I was only going to suggest it at the end of the chapter, but then it some how fit here. In the very first chapter, Aizuki said this about Sakurako: "I quite liked Sakurako when I went to school with her, although…" but quickly changed the subject by thinking that he was definitely not able to learn the bitter truth from her yet. She was actually thinking the fact that Sakurako had been partly involved with her parent's death, and yet no one was remembering this at the funeral, they were all just talking about Sakurako's death.**_

_**Likewise in chapter 2, she mentioned the fact that her parent's death was due to him.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note:**_ _**The last chapter, I wouldn't say anything about it other then assuring any readers that they will have a happy ending!!! And be prepared for a very long author's note.**_

* * *

Once again, he stood underneath the sakura tree in front of her grave with a bunch of flowers. But the difference was that he was finally free of almost all of his regret and guilt. 

Guilt would always be present but it was no longer dominating. He finally understood that this was not his fault. After many more talks with his family and Aizuki, as well as many late night ponderings without the help of a cigarette and or a bottle of wine nearby, he finally ceased to be guilty about Sakunoko and Aizuki's parents.

He would probably still see these images now and then, but he was able to put it behind him without sinking into the past once again.

There was also an ever more important realisation.

"Sakurako, I still love you but I also love Aizuki." He finally admitted out as he placed the flowers onto her grave, kneeling down at the same time. "I think you will understand that I do still love you even if I love her. I believe you will understand... I can only hope that you will understand because I cannot alter my feelings for her any more then I can stop loving you."

Closing his eyes he reached out to trace the familiar name, what he almost always did whenever he came here. He allowed himself to recollect about his past with her once more, starting from their very first meeting.

"I won't be thinking of you that much from now on because it will be too unfair for Aizuki. But believe me, I will continue treasuring each one of our memories- I will never forget any."

He would no longer spend that much time with her as another woman would occupy him more, and this was natural because they were in different worlds now. To continue only thinking of her was to ignore the world he was still in.

It was well into the middle of the raining night when he was finally ready to leave. But before he even stood up, he saw the sakura he brought for her disintegrated with the petals gently brushing across his face despite the hard drops of rain.

"Let me try and feel your face so I can remember every detail about you when you are not here."

This was a good enough sign to him, he was sure that this was her telling him that she understands, as well as being able to bear his absence.

* * *

Sunday was usually the day he slept in, even though he was no longer using it to recover from a hang over as he stopped his severe drinking. Hence he was slightly shocked by the alarm clock that woke him and he almost failed to recollect why he set the thing in the first place. 

He had something very important that he had to do before he could tell Aizuki what he was sure...what he hoped that she wanted to hear. Contrary to what he initially believed, it was not just enough for him to say good bye to Sakurako.

But that was certainly a very important thing.

He picked up the precious photo of the two of them beside the ash tray and stared at it for a long time. Despite this frame being placed right beside the ash tray, it was still very tidy because he would carefully wipe it every time he stood up, as well as when he woke up and went to sleep.

"I know you understand." He whispered softly as he pulled open the first drawer in the near by cabin, revealing many other images of his past- some were photos that were carefully labelled at the back while others were news clipping that his proud parents had cut and send to him before the fall out, and there was even stuff like his reports from England.

Even though he has decided to do this, he still found his hand resting on the drawer instead of pushing it close.

Because this was not an easy thing to do.

"I know you understand." He repeated again as he finally pushed the drawer back. It was not as if he would ignore that photo forever, because he would still look at it often enough as well as dusting it, but that procedure would no longer be a ritual.

"I am ready to do the second part." He said firmly as he walked to the familiar route to the flower shop that he went to whenever he wanted to buy Sakurako any flowers. The florist was an old woman who had seen them before he even went to England all these years ago and since more then a decade has passed, she knew him quite well now.

"The usual?" she asked him professionally after her show of surprise at seeing him today as he just brought some flowers the day before.

"No, I...I am buying them for someone else." He said softly.

"Some one else?"

"Is that wrong?" he asked rather angrily, feeling that her tone was sharper then it should be.

"Of course not," she interrupted him very quickly, "I was just a bit astonished at this as I thought that you would mourn for her forever."

"Is this a bad thing then?" he said cynically as he placed the poppies onto the counter. He chose this flower because this was the flower that Aizuki seem to like the best.

"No." The florist said softly, carefully wrapping the flowers up, "I think it is probably a good thing because you almost look the way you did when you first came here.

"I still remember that day quite well, when I saw you two first enter my shop. I thought that you two were a rather loving couple and I hoped that you two would be able to remain together when I accidentally heard about how you would be leaving her for two years. I was actually quite happy when you did return with her."

The slightly sad and bitter smile betrayed her as having been in a similar situation when the man she was waiting for did not come back with the words that they had once vowed.

"People come and go all the time, many of the people who said how much they love my shop never returns so I was even more surprised when I saw you once again…"

"But by myself." He interrupted her, not wishing to dwell on all these past incidents now that he was finally able to continue on with his life.

"And you would come and buy flowers every week saved for a few times."

One of the only times he brought flowers from somewhere else was the day that Aizuki came with him to visit Sakurako and brought flowers as well. He naturally didn't want the florist to see them together in case he was accused of something that was not true at that time.

"I noticed that you would stop smiling when you believe that no one is looking at you, and then I noticed that your smile seemed empty. It was really something you were putting on for a show. I don't know when but all of a sudden I start to realise that you were almost looking the way you were the first two times I saw you.

"I remember your expression really well because I thought that if someone wants to know what being happy look like, then all they had to do is to look at you and her."

"I don't think I will ever look like that again though." Watanabe commented out softly as she finally allowed him to take the finished flowers. "I am not unhappy anymore, but I will never be as happy as I was because the one who did that is not here."

He would not try and work out who made him happier because Aizuki and Sakurako were two different people.

The florist muttered something that sound remarkably like a good wish, as well as hinting that she hoped to not see him coming here by himself next time. The hidden bond between the florist and one of her most frequent customers was rather strange. He didn't even know when and how she found out about Sakurako's incident and then death, but she knew and knew that he was now aware of it.

He never talked to her about any of this, yet the knowledge seemed enough.

"But this flower is not for Aizuki." He said to himself as he waited for that bus. "This is for her parents."

He would go to these grave and placed this bunch of poppies onto it before he started to explain to them about his new found peace that their elder daughter was directly responsible for, as well as his hope that she would remain by his side.

Then he would go and see Aizuki. Because he was occupied the whole of Saturday, he deliberately asked Aizuki to meet him on Sunday night. Their meeting place was naturally still that bar, but so much has changed since their very first encounter.

Maybe it was fate because he usually didn't go to that bar, there was one much nearer his home. He went there that day because it had been very close to the graveyard and he was filled with a deep longing to drink in order to be free from his pain: finally losing her.

Aizuki told him that she needed a drink due to what she just discovered at the funeral: that he was the driver who caused her parent's death. She did not blame him, but it was still quite a shock to face with the man who did this, especially when she sort of knew him.

"That was why I wanted to help you so much." She had told him.

Much to his surprise, she was standing outside- the first time she did this as they usually waited for the other inside, often already drinking something. He automatically smiled in return when he saw how happy she was at seeing him.

This was not a really idealistic or a romantic relationship as he did not suddenly see her in a new perspective, she did not suddenly become extremely beautiful or enchanting, she appeared as she always did.

"I am trying to find a new place to live." Was the first thing Aizuki said once they took their usual seats. "Akio has accepted a job offer at this school in Kyoto, and I think he will be marrying soon. Ashita has finished senior high school and got a job near the University of Osaka campus in Toyonaka because Kuranosuke is going there. She will be boarding with some other girls."

"I've heard about that from Shiraishi and Kenya when they visited me the other day. They've both got accepted into the university with very high grades and they have also been pestered by the University's tennis club." Watanabe said with quite a bit of pride in his voice. "But is your sister not going to university?"

"She decided to not go, so she won't have to. But since I'm the only one left in Osaka, I decided to find a new apartment, a new place to live even though our home is small enough.

She then took out numerous booklets along with many clippings and laid it onto the narrow space in front of them. "Much to my disappointments they are either too far from the place I want, or much too big for a single woman. I was hoping that you would offer some advice and maybe come with me since school has finished..."

"Aizuki," he interrupted her by putting his hand over her's, preventing her from opening any more of these documents in front. "What about living with me?"

She did not turn pale or do anything dramatic, but she was clearly shocked because she didn't even bother to withdraw her hand.

His words was partly due to impulse because he would not have asked her this if she did not mention about her moving, but he was sure that he would have said them soon enough.

As he realised, his love for Azuki was different because he had loved Sakurako when he was only a boy, that became the one area in his life where he did not grew up in. The man he ended up then loved Aizuki, so what he felt for Sakurako was different, yet he still loved her because he was still that boy.

He was now in love with Aizuki, but it was not the same intense love- he did not need to be with her every single moment of his life, yet he desired her by wanting to know that she would be there at the end of the day, he needed her to be there.

"I love you, Tanako Aizuki." He finally said these words, his hand still pressing over her's. "And I need you in my life. If you are gone…I wouldn't be drinking obsessively or resume chain smoking, but I would always feel a slight pain because you are not beside me.

"I can still smile and laugh without pretending, but I will be missing you. I don't know how to explain this to you but…"

"I understand." Aizuki interrupted him as she leant a bit closer. "Will you feel bad if I continue?"

Upon his shook of head, she kissed him on the lips. This was naturally the first kiss he had ever since Sakurako's death and he actually saw her there once again, which made him pull back.

"Aizuki, I do not wish to lie to you so I will admit that I will still occasionally think of Sakurako even when you are beside me. Because I do still love her, I would wish that she was with me and be sad at the fact that she isn't."

"I will be disappointed if you don't, because that means you will not simply forget me when I am gone, as well as showing me that you really do love me."

This answer was enough for him to kiss her back, it was not a passionate kiss because they were not trying to experiment about the physical aspects of love, nor were they trying to forget about everything else just by being with each other.

Their first kiss was more of a sign of commitment- the token of their willingness to be one another's lover.

This was an accurate reflection of their love for one another, it was not one of great passion and excitement, but one of a quiet happiness as the two of them were glad just knowing that they would be together at the end of a day, what they most wanted from the other was their presence, not any sweet words.

"What about my offer?" Watanabe asked when he pulled away, although his hand was still intertwined with her.

"Surely you know of my attitude to this." Aizuki pointed out. "To live with a man and not sleep with him is impossible, and even if you could do this I doubt anyone else would believe us."

"I know, so I am asking you to marry me."

"Osamu, we have been friends, not lovers for the past three years…"

"But our relationship has long ceased being a friendship, it is just that we are finally kissing each other and holding hands." Watanabe said. "I know that I want you to be there for the rest of my life…I need this."

He stopped speaking because he didn't know what else he should say, how he could make her realise what he feel.

Much to his surprise, Aizuki nodded.

"I will because I understand." She was sure that she would be able to be happy spending the rest of her life with him. She did love him, she has actually loved him for quite sometime, and she also knew him well enough in these three years to say that she would be able to be happy living with him.

* * *

It was quite late when she got home and even though her policy had been to do everything in the dark in order to not disturb either of her siblings, she still decided to open the light in the bathroom in order to examine her new ring - the proof that all this had happened. She was of a rather practical nature, but she still needed a reassurance that Watanabe did ask her to marry him because she wasn't even sure that he would love her. 

The two of them had left the bar in order to purchase a ring before they went to a café and discussed their marriage plans along with their new living arrangement.

They decided that they would marry on the day both Ashita and Akio headed off to their new home, so that Aizuki could move in with him without sacrificing what might be the last time she will live with both of her siblings.

He naturally had to take her to meet his parents, who discovered her presence almost a year ago as she was really dominating in his life, but he told her that they would break the news to her family first.

"After all, they might still be wondering about whether that worthless man is still hurting you." He had told her simply. "Beside, I already intended to visit you tomorrow no matter what."

So she was engaged, strangely enough it didn't make that much a difference to her, she did not suddenly feel very self conscious as she would still wear a yukata that she had thrown onto the ground. She never once especially dressed up for him because there was no need to do so for a friend, then it was because she was convinced that he was still only thinking of Sakurako when she realised that she loved him, and now it was knowing that he would not care about such things.

Her lips curled into a smile as she looked at her ring again, recollecting how they had spent such a long time in selecting it. It was a rather plain silver ring with only a few moonstones. It was, to be honest, not a very expensive ring, but she loved it for the mere sake of what it meant.

He had been very protective of her the whole of last evening, he was clearly afraid that she would be snatched away as suddenly as Sakurako was. She would need to talk to him about this, it was alright to be treated like this once in a while but too many protection would make her feel too restrained.

"Tomorrow will be very interesting." She whispered to herself as she prepared to sleep.

When she woke up, she could hear both of her sibling's voice along with Shiraishi's the moment she got up. Her sister's boy friend was a common visitor now that school had finished and Aizuki was glad that he was here today, because she felt it was quite fitting for him to learn about her news, as he was probably Watanabe's closet pupil.

Ashita immediately got up to give her the breakfast she made as soon as Aizuki went to their living room, while Shiraishi bowed to her politely. Her twin was watching the news as well as talking to his girlfriend so he only greeted her by a jerk of his chin.

"I have something very important to tell." She began, her voice still very calm despite the suddenness and gravity of her news.

"Aizuki-oneesan, I can go outside if you wish." Shiraishi suggested courteously, but she halted him by a quick shake of her head. "I think you should stay, as this will sort of concern you."

"Well, this is my news: I am engaged."

A long silence elapsed before it was interrupted by Akio apologising to his girlfriend in order to hang up. This then inspired Ashtia to congratulate her by throwing her arms around her beloved sister.

"I am so happy for you, neechan."

"Congratulations." Shiraishi added sincerely. "But I do not understand what you meant by…"

"It is because you know this man." She said simply. "My fiancé is Watanabe Osamu."

"Watanabe-sensei from our junior high school?" the two teenagers immediately yelled out, while Akio examined out: "Watanabe-buchou?"

"When Akio and I went to Shitenhouji chuu and joined the tennis club, Watanabe Osamu was our buchou," Aizuki explained to the younger two before she turned to her brother. "He then became a teacher in Shitenhouji chuu, he was Shiraishi's coach. We met three years ago at a bar and we then just kept on meeting up. Now he loves me."

The two teenagers naturally thought that he had merely been getting over the loss of a previous girl friend. Akio could remember the girl that their buchou had loved so passionately, but he knew that one's relationship in school did not necessary last from the hard way. Like his sister, he did not know who the driver that caused their parents death indirectly was.

"In case you don't believe me." Aizuki got up and opened the door to reveal Watanabe, who was holding a large bundle of something in his hand.

"Shiraishi, you are here!" He examined out in surprise to his formal student before he turned to his formal club mate. "Tanako-kun."

"Watanabe-senpai, congratulations." Akio said as he shook the other's hand. "I am so sorry but I really don't know what I should say. As far as I know, Aizuki hasn't gone on a date for ages and now she suddenly tells us that she is engaged."

"I really did think that I would be the last one to get married," Aizuki admitted as she placed her arm around her fiancé, much to her relief and happiness, he responded by pressing his free hand over her's.

"Oh, I'll go and get something for sensei…" Ashita began, only to be halted by a slight shake of head from Watanabe.

"I need to give something to your sister first." he told her as he handed the thing he was carrying to his fiancée in order to clear the table before he could place it down with the help of Ashita and Shiraishi. "This is actually not a gift from me, but my aunt- who loves me as if I was her own son. She gave this to me in order to hand it to you when she first learnt about you and what you have done for me. I hope you will wear it at our wedding."

Judging by the feel of it, she was sure that it was a bundle of fabric if not a piece of clothing. Whatever it was, she was determined to do what he desired.

The two of them decided to have a very simple wedding, they would register their wedding certificate in the municipal government before they celebrate in the nearby restaurant. Of course, speeches would be made and they would exchange some sort of vows. They did not want any elaborate planning because that was not important, although they did want some public display to let their family know that they were in love.

She almost gasped when she saw the fine fabric, and when she realised what type of clothing it was- she did chock out aloud. There was no doubt that this would be the most expensive piece of clothing that she has ever own. Even more costly then her furisode.

"I've want to see you wear it for quite sometime but I think I can wait till the day of the wedding." He whispered teasingly as he placed his arm around her waist- his touch was very comforting to her.

* * *

The last few weeks before her wedding was both chaotic and emotional as the three of them were finally going toward separate ways. Every one of them wanted someone else to take the furniture due to the sentimental attachment on it even though they themselves secretly desired it. 

Ashita pointed out that she was going to live in a small room in an apartment while Aizuki argued that Watanabe's home contained all the furniture she would need. Akio then said that he was going the furthest so giving him so much would cost him a lot.

They only managed to spilt everything up after much difficulties. The two sisters also had to sort out their clothing and it was very hard because for as long as they could remember, their clothing were mingled up even though they rarely wore each other's clothing. They had to force themselves to separate the clothing into two piles before they put it away with their share of the furniture.

Her siblings would head off to their new houses after her wedding, just as she would move in with Watanabe instead of going on any honeymoon. They talked about this and both decided against any immediate things as they planned to both settle in with the idea of living together.

"I will miss neechan so much." Ashita had whispered sadly as she looked at their empty room, which she had shared with her elder sister throughout her whole life. It was very hard for her to face this now empty house that was no longer their home because she was still seeing it as what it used to be like. "It is not that I don't love niichan but neechan has always been in my life so much more."

"I know. But Toyonaka is not that far from Osaka, unlike Kyoto." Aizuki reminded Ashita as she carefully examined her sister's hair one last time, she insisted on dressing her hair as it would be a very long time before she get to do such a thing again. Her younger sister was also wearing the furisode that Aizuki gave to her at the same day she announced her engagement. "Beside, we will always gather together at Christmas and new year, which is not that far away and don't forget that both Akio and I will attend your seijin shiki.

"And there is also Akio's soon enough wedding." She added teasingly. "Although Ashita's one might be next."

"Neechan!" her protest was muffled as her sister laughed and enfolded her into a tight embrace.

"I will miss Ashita a lot too but that is the way it has to be." She said simply. "One marries and leaves one's family. But at least we were always close before we part."

Unlike her and their parents, she added inside her head.

"It's kind of funny for neechan to marry someone who I just see as a teacher in my old school. But Kuranosuke told me that he really is a very kind person although most people don't see that as he jokes around a lot."

"He wears a mask to hide what he really is like." She whispered, thinking of their first meeting. "He really is a very kind and sensitive person. One that will make me very happy."

"Are you two ready?" Akio yelled out from the living room.

He had asked his girl friend to wait for him at the municipal government office, because there was something the family of three had to do alone first.

"Let's go," Aizuki whispered to her younger sister, pressing her hand.

There were so many memories in this house, especially in that room as she had lived in that room the longest. That used to be her and Akio's room, where they would listen and observe their parent's fighting. Then Ashita came and she used to sleep in the same futon as Aizuki. Feeling her little sister clinging onto her for security, Aizuki finally felt that she was needed by someone, that her presence made a difference in the world.

When Ashita reached the age of going to school, Aizuki would be the one to help her with her uniform as well as brushing her hair before Akio and her walked to the elementary school first, holding onto one of their little sister's hand each.

It was not easy saying good bye to her house, but the most difficult part was saying goodbye to her sister, there was nothing but fund memoires with Ashita. Like all older siblings and parents, she was worried about the danger her sister would be facing as she was finally going to be out of their protection.

She would also miss her twin brother greatly, because he had simply always been there. There were times when his nagging greatly angered her, and his observation after the night Watanabe first kissed her all these years ago even made her slap him, but they did have a very deep bond.

Ever since the night they were woken up by polices who informed them that their parents were dead, she and Akio took on the role of being the ones in charge of the household, which made them grew even closer as they had to constantly interact.

"So, are you guys ready?" Akio asked once more.

Ashita gave a slight nod as she finally turned her eyes away, while Aizuki was doing a similar thing. She might have been absent from here for a large enough time in her teen years, but this was her home, and this house contained the memoires of her parents.

It seemed so strange when the door finally closed. There was nothing that stopped them from opening it again, but they knew that they could not do so.

"Let's go," Aizuki said firmly, although her voice was a bit sad. "We mustn't keep everyone waiting."

People who were responsible for causing the new directions in their lives.

* * *

As befitted, the groom was already present along with his immediate family in the municipal government office, including his aunt- who especially came all the way from Tokyo despite not really feeing well. Akio's long time girl friend was also there, while Shiraishi was present along with both Kenya and Kintaoru. 

Watanabe burst out laughing upon seeing Kintarou because the young boy was actually wearing a yukata like his two senpai and most other and he was clearly very uncomfortable due to the way he kept on tugging at the sleeves. Even though it was not compulsory to wear traditional Japanese clothing, most people must have heard that the bridal couple and the bride' family would wear so and decided to follow suit.

"At times like this I wish I still have that." Shiraishi said as he gestured with his left hand, free from any bandages since the sleeves of his clothing was long enough.

"But thanks to sensei I didn't have that much problem with him last year." Kenya butted in.

With the absence of Shiraishi in the tennis team, Kenya easily gained the position of the buchou, although he was very reluctant in taking what he once greatly desired. He simply believed that he should not be the one to be in this position. Although he and Shiraishi has managed to become very close friends in their senior high school years.

This made their formal coach very happy as he was sure that the two boys would already have been very good friends in junior high school if it hasn't been for the rivalry that he could have prevented.

But he had been too occupied with his own problems, so he didn't try to work out what these boys really need, he simply took what they want for granted.

Watanabe had no doubt that these three boys who had all possessed the title of buchou at some point of their life would be able to make a name for themselves in the tennis world very soon.

Which was what had been expected of him, especially when he won that scholarship to England. There were times when he asked himself why he ended up like this, especially when he saw some of his formal team mates on boarcasts. He did not wish to be a professional tennis player anymore but he was still wistful at giving up the life style he had once longed for.

But he didn't mind it that much now, he was very content with his life. Companionship was probably the most important thing to him right now as he realised how lonely his life had been in these years of isolating, even when he played tennis.

His own attitude had changed, he was no longer bothered by what if so much, what his life would be like if that accident had not happened. He was just grateful for being happy right now.

Having Aizuki beside him is good enough.

"Are you happy with this, Osamu?" his aunt asked him once again.

He, his brother and both of his parents unanimously agreed that his aunt should be one of the two witnesses who would add their signature. Aizuki wished for her brother to be a witness and it then seemed only fair to letting him choose the other one. It was his aunt because she was the one that helped him out through this whole period the most, as well as being responsible for the reconciliation.

Despite her protest, the family was sure that some of them might not be able to stand here because they would still be in the process of trying to forgive one another.

"I do love her, oba. I love her in an equally strong fashion, but it is not the same love because they are two different people. That is why I never stopped loving either of them." He quoted out. "Thank you, oba, for everything."

"I am just glad that you are happy. I quite like the girl, she is a bit different from her younger sister but I do like her." Emika said. "I am sure that she will make you happy."

Ashita had stayed in her house during the nationals when she and Shiraishi were in their third year of junior high school. He took Aizuki to see his parents and brother the very night her family finally know about him, and she actually took Saturday off in order to go to Tokyo and meet his dear aunt.

"I will be." He said simply.

"She is here," his aunt said softly, gently turning him. "Your bride."

Watanabe immediately smiled and this was a true sincere smile.

* * *

The wedding actually ended in the train station, with Aizuki saying good bye to her two beloved siblings along with the promise of writing and ringing very often. As she embraced them a final time he used this time to talk to his two formal students that were heading off now in order to adjust to their new campuses. 

While his farewells were naturally not as emotional as Aizuki's, he did felt a very deep sadness because it would be quite hard to continue seeing these two, who actually visited him quite a lot of time in their senior high school years.

It was like being in a graduation ceremony once again, although he couldn't really say that because he didn't feel that that upset. He was sad at leaving many of his friends whom he actually knew since his junior high school days but he was idealistic and hopeful at that time and Sakurako was beside him.

But it was not bad this time, because he knew that he would not be returning to an empty apartment, there would now always be some one who would beside him. She might not be there immediately when he needed her, but it was enough that she would turn up.

The two of them returned to their apartment with a small pile of presents that surprised both of them. It was not modesty that made them think of such thing, it was simply the fact that neither of them thought about this.

"Why didn't you be a gentleman by letting me rest while you run up and down?" Aizuki teased him slightly as the two of them finally carried up the last of their present.

"Weren't you the one who refused my brother's help?" he reminded her.

Aizuki was just about to push the door open when she suddenly felt her arm being grabbed by her husband.

"Aizuki…in England it is custom for the husband to carry the wife he just married over the threshold." He said softly. "I know that our wedding was not really traditional or Westernised but I would like to do this."

She gave a simple nod, even though she initially did not favour the idea as it would probably reminded him of the wedding he and Sakurako were meant to have, but then she saw that this was not really the case, he just simply wanted to do so as he seem to see it as a custom.

Upon her nod, he did so.

"Surely I am not too heavy for you." She teased him gently when he placed her on their sofa, almost out of breath.

"It is harder then it looks." He said before he went to shove all of their presents in. Upon seeing her outstretched hands, he took the one that was in a quilt like bag due to the way it was made by sewing numerous fabrics together: Ashita' s present.

"This is beautiful." She muttered out as soon as she took the yukata out. "I saw her making this and I really had no idea that this was for me. I was really dense because I wonder why it was a bit bigger then it should be." She continued with a slight laugh as she spread the yukata out. "This can be my bridal gown."

A yukata that was clearly meant to be wore in private because the obi was a very slender belt.

Aizuki was slouching on the sofa and he happened to place her in the position he usually laid, with his hand at a very close distance to the ash tray and the photo.

"It is not there anymore." She commented out softly.

"No," he answered her simply as he moved to sat beside her and circled his arm around her waist. "I admit that I might still look at it now and then but I don't need to look it at everyday."

"Will you let me put a photo of us there then?" upon his nod she let out a sigh of relief and huddled closer to him. "I must ask you this one more time but are you happy?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I am at peace." He whispered.

Most of all he had a home now, because she would be there. He could return to it knowing that someone would comfort him if he was upset, as well as having someone who would be waiting for him there.

Aizuki once said that he was wearing a smiling mask because his outer appearance was not giving any reflection of what he really was like. Later on, when they were engaged, she would often touch his face and ask him whether this was what he was truly feeling.

As he looked at her smile, he couldn't help but to wonder whether she had wore a similar mask, as that might be another reason of why she was able to help him.

It was clear that she was really happy right now, but he wouldn't be surprised if her smile was as false as his in the past. After all, she did not exactly live free from pain the way a princess in her castle did.

But they were married now, and he believe that he could make her happy as well as helping her.

"Everyone asks me that question but have anyone asked you that? If they have then how will you answer it?"

She laughed softly as she did so: "I can tell you about how sad I am that Ashita, Akio and I are finally heading off to separate ways, but is consoled by the fact that I know they will both be happy in their new surroundings, as well as being able to contact them very frequently. Or I can talk to you about how I really enjoy my job because I love the feel of fabric, then the sense of achievement I feel whenever I managed to make a piece of clothing. But I know that these thigns are not what you mean.

"You want to know whether I will be happy with you, I don't know how to explain but I am and I will.

"I suppose I can only say this," she whispered as she leant against him even more. "I am very happy because I love you and is loved back."

* * *

_**Author's Note**_ _**I must say, I did have quite a sense of achievement when I finished this story. As always I tend to have a really long author's note when I am doing my final author's note in a story so bear with me, beside you can just skip it if you don't want to read it anymore because the story is finished.**_

_**As I said before, this story was my random project, but yet it ended up quite long. Likewise this chapter, I think my editing made it increase by 1/2 of its original length. This chapter is meant to be a happy chapter because this is the end, Watanabe realizes that he love Aizuki as well and they get marry and I think they will be happy. However, writing the bit about Aizuki and her family saying good bye really made me sad, I think because this issue is something that most of us will have to deal with. As for the marriage proposal, I don't know how to explain about the suddenness of it all but that is how I always intended for this story to end, perhaps it is because they do just understand one another.**_

_**The appearance of the florist was not something that I thought about, that did just suddenly come. I think she reminds the audience that he was happy with Sakurako and it would be good if they could stay together- but they didn't, and one must pardon him for moving on with his life.**_

_**To get married in Japan, you must marry by signing a certificate of marriage, a registration of marriage from the municipal government which register the marriage, for more details please go to think Kenya is a very good tennis player so I believe that he can become a professional tennis player, which I think will be what happens to Shiraishi. I don't know if they will go to university but somehow I think they might, then start their professional career properly. For some reason I don't see Ashita going to university and this is not because I am sexist or anything, I just don't see her going to university.**_

_**According to wikipedia Osaka university- Osaka daigaku hondai is the sixth oldest university in Japan and despite it's name, it is actually in the city Suita and Toyonaka. I really though that it was in Osaka as soon as I first heard it. Suita is where the main campus of the university where the tennis facilities are, so the university's' tennis clubs is actually concentrated in the Suita campus. However, all first years attend the Toyonaka campus.**_

_**Aizuki actually plays tennis and she was even good enough to make it into the regulars, this is a bit funny and ironic considering that I don't really like to read prince of tennis stories where the OC can play tennis, even if badly and all of a sudden I realized that I have actually done a similar thing. Well, Aizuki first came out in 'Sacrifice' and I needed her and Akio to play tennis for the sake of the plot, Ashita was looking at the tennis courts and met Shiraishi because her siblings used to play tennis. Then I had the idea for this story and since the age fit I thought it would be really good for Aizuki and Watanabe to have this connection although I hardly mentions this fact, and to defend myself- they actually never talks about playing tennis.**_

_**Last of all, I had been poundering about how people would actually address one another so I asked my friend- who is Japanese. She told me that Shiraishi would be calling Aizuki something along the lines of Aizuki-oneesan, while Aizuki would probably call him just by his first name.**_

_**Well, I know that not many people read this story, because Watanabe is not that a popular character and he is not even included on the filter list, I asked the site to include him but it seems that they haven't got my e-mail or just choose to ignore me. But no matter what I wanted to write this story, even if it might be out of character, even if few read it. I am glad that I finished it.**_


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